Realize
by loyalluv
Summary: Edward & Bella are best friends.While Bella sleeps around,Edward searches for a serious relationship.He finds it in Tanya. Several events,life altering changes,and serious eye openers make Edward & Bella realize that what there looking for is each other
1. Chapter 1  Sold to the devil

**Hello everyone who is reading this! I hope you like this story because I'm really excited for it! I have several chapters already written so the next update shouldn't be too long, but I'm adding stuff so yea. **

**Summary ~ **

Edward and Bella have always been best friends. While Bella spends her time sleeping around, Edward searches for a serious relationship. He soon finds it in Tanya. Several events, life altering changes, and serious eye openers make Edward and Bella realize that what they've been looking for is each other.

**Edward -** I saw them together. They were so close, too close. That should be me with my arm around her. That should be me feeling her love. But I realized that I shouldn't be feeling these things. I could never allow Bella to realize that she broke my heart every time she looked at him with love in her chocolate eyes.

**Bella -** The way Edward held her made me envious. The fact that she was able to call him hers made me angry. She didn't deserve him, but neither did I. I didn't like her for various reasons, and those various reasons only grew by the second. I know I can never have him, so why should she?

* * *

**Prologue**

There is a thin line between friendship and love. A line I thought I would never cross. Our friendship was strong, too strong. I fell in love without even realizing it, but I was too late to stop it. There was my best friend looking at me with nothing but eyes filled with joy. Who was I to risk what we had? What made me believe that my feelings would be reciprocated in any way? I was a fool, a helplessly in love fool. I didn't want this to happen. I didn't plan on this happening. The love I felt consumed me; it begged me to release it, to let it be known. But that would be wrong; it would be selfish of me. So for now and forever, my love would remain a secret. A secret that would continue to tear my heart and soul apart.

**Edward POV**

_Should I wear a white button down or a blue button down? _

I have been standing in my closet for twenty minutes, trying to look for a decent outfit for work, and so far I have come up with shit. Fuck, I don't know about all this style crap.

"Bella!" I screamed from inside my bedroom, looking into my closet with what I assumed was a confused look on my face. My room consisted of just a simple black king-sized bed with a blue comforter, a black and silver desk with my laptop on it, and my own bathroom – complete with a Jacuzzi. The bedroom was spacious and modern yet still contained a homey feel.

"For fuck's sake, what?" Bella said, aggravated as she walked into my bedroom wearing her pajamas. Her slim yet curvy body was rocking Nightmare Before Christmas pajamas with cow slippers. Bella was the only girl I knew who could make cow slippers look sexy. How she did it I never knew.

I had known Bella since kindergarten. We met because I wanted her Oreos. So as soon as I stole them, I bolted, with a little Bella hot on my heels. When she finally caught up with me, she pushed me to the ground and started to beat me up with her tiny fists. Bella stopped hitting me when I started crying while begging for her to stop; she apologized afterwards and lifted me off the ground. She hit me once more when I called her Isabella and threatened to kiss me if I did it again. I believed in cooties at the time, so I took the threat seriously.

We have been best friends ever since. Oreos were also sacred to us; they were our favorite cookie.

We helped each other through the bad times and enjoyed the great times. Over the years we had grown stronger by dealing with relationship problems, stress from school, and dealing with parents – or in my case foster parents. Bella and I shared so many wild times.

Although many think so, Bella and I never had sex together. We had never even kissed. Not that I hadn't thought about it. Because I have. A lot. In fact I have thought about it since high school. But I can't risk our friendship over a silly thing like my hormones. Many have wondered why we haven't dated, and truthfully I don't know. I guess neither of us is willing to risk losing each other.

Bella is a lot to lose; she is my number one girl.

Bella and I had also established some rules over the years.

Rule number one: We would never be mad at each other for more than three days. Rule number two: The other must approve of the others relationship. No approval meant no relationship. Rule number 3: Bella was my number one and I was hers, meaning that no matter what our friendship came first. Rule number four: We could never bring someone home for the night.

We had others, but we were drunk when we made them, so they didn't count.

Bella walked sluggishly to my bed and slowly climbed on top of it.

"I see you made yourself comfortable," I observed, watching her lift the covers and snuggle into my bed.

"Your bed is so much more comfortable than mine." Bella let out a sigh, a small smile formed on her heart-shaped face. Bella and I have been living together for as long as I could remember. We started out with a crappy apartment, but once we got enough money we immediately moved into this luxury condo. But Bella was what made it home; the place would be empty without her.

"I need you to help me pick out my clothes for today." I smirked when I heard her groan. "I'm meeting Tanya after work, so I need to look extra nice." Tanya and I had been dating for a couple of weeks, and although she bugged the hell out of me sometimes, she was a nice girl. Unlike Bella, I got tired of the constant sex with no emotion behind it, which is why I wanted this relationship to last. So I was trying to ignore Tanya's flaws – I seemed to find more and more – and make this relationship last, meaning I also needed Bella's approval. "You're going to Emmy's right?"

"Yup, I'll be there. So I'm meeting Tanya tonight?"

I nodded absentmindedly, still trying to pick a fucking shirt. With a loud huff, Bella hopped out of my bed and disappeared into my walk-in closet. Minutes later, she came out with a green-button down with black slacks.

"Here, fashion retard. You would think having Alice as a sister would have taught you some fashion sense," Bella teased.

I ignored her and looked at the outfit she chose with approval. "Okay, so remember, don't scare away Tanya. I don't want a repeat of last time." I winced at the memories.

"Her hair grew back!" Bella defended.

I was going to retort when I felt arms wrap around my frame. I hummed, feeling the warmth and electric current that always went through us when we touched. I held onto her tightly, smelling her mahogany hair.

_She always smells like strawberries. _

"But she was a bitch," Bella muttered.

I chuckled and gently placed a kiss on her forehead.

My past girlfriends and her past boyfriends always had a problem with our gentle touches. They just didn't understand; Bella wasn't just an emotional comfort, but a physical one as well. I treated Bella differently, because Bella was so important to me. Bella may have acted tough – and hell, she was – but she was also very sensitive. She needed to be treated with care, but at the same time you couldn't baby her.

"Yes, she was; but be open-minded about this one. I want this relationship to work out. I'm getting older, and unlike you, I want a deeper connection than just sex."

Bella snorted and buried her beautiful face into my chest, my brows furrowed when I felt her tense. She muttered something unintelligible, making me want to question what she had said. After a moment of silence I decided to let it go, passing it off as something unimportant.

She lifted her face from my chest, her deep brown eyes meeting my green ones. I always found myself lost in her chocolate pools, but you definitely would not find me complaining. Bella quirked her eyebrow and asked, "Is she hotter than me?"

I laughed, kissing her forehead again. "Absolutely not," I assured with force. I had yet to find a girl hotter than Bella. I probably never would. I mean, who could possibly compete with her? Bella, with her beautiful long mahogany hair, porcelain skin, full plump lips, eyes that could melt the coldest of hearts, and a voice that could compete with the most beautiful music.

"Good." She let go of me and walked towards the door. Looking back, she said, "Yo, I'm making breakfast. Want some?"

I eagerly told her yes and thanked her, watching as she walked away. With a sigh, I dressed with the hope of a good day and overall ease, but as I was an unlucky bastard, I was doubtful. Looking presentable, I grabbed my briefcase and made my way towards the kitchen.

"It smells delicious, Bella," I announced, walking into the kitchen. My stomach growled, aching for her scrumptious food. I sat down at the island in the middle of the kitchen, and watched Bella as she cooked. "What time are you going to work today?" I asked, waiting impatiently for my food. Bella placed a hot cup of coffee, made the way I like it, in front of me. I took a big whiff of it and practically moaned at its smell. I drank a large gulp, enjoying the burning sensation down my throat and on my tongue, welcoming the heat.

"I'm going in the afternoon. What about you?" Bella asked, preparing my plate.

Bella gave me a plate of her famous French toast, making my mouth immediately water. It was famous for a reason. I dug in with vigor, moaning with every delectable bite. "I'm going as soon as I finish this delicious breakfast," I answered with my mouth full, making Bella grimace at my lack of manners.

I was a doctor at Country View Hospital, and had worked there for years. When I was little, I loved to see my foster dad, Carlisle, come home with an accomplished look on his face and the air of pride that surrounded him. He came home knowing that he saved lives, that he made a difference. I wanted that; I craved the feeling of knowing I made a difference in someone's life. So I followed in Carlisle's footsteps and became a doctor. I must say it was the best decision I had ever made. I could do without the long hours, but overall I loved my job.

While I was in medical school, busting my ass, Bella was doing the same in culinary school, becoming a chef. She's a damn good one too. It had taken two years of saving and paperwork for Bella to have her own restaurant, but she did it. So now she was the owner and head chef at "_Swan's"_. Business started out slow, causing Bella's hope to spiral downwards, but then word started spreading about the amazing food and excellent service. Now patrons had to make reservations months in advance; I couldn't be more proud of her.

"What time are we all meeting at Emmy's?" Bella asked, wiping the counter tops.

Emmy's was a bar owned by a close friend, Emmett McCarty. We met Emmett in our third year of college during a party; we immediately liked him because of his goofy humor and happy mood. It was infectious to all around him. After meeting him, we were introduced to his girlfriend/love of his life, Rosalie Hale. She was quite the fire cracker and occasionally a total bitch, but she was sweet when she wanted to be – which was rare. They got married shortly after college. We were invited to the event, and we attended because Rosalie would have had our asses if we weren't there. I was the best man and Bella was the maid of honor. Alice was the wedding planner, since that was what she did for a living.

Emmett worked hard and invested a lot of money and time into a rundown bar. After a year of refurnishing and completely rebuilding it from the bottom up, "_Emmy's"_ was born. While Emmett ran the bar, Rosalie worked with Alice as her assistant.

My sister – _sigh_ – she was something special. Her endless amount of energy and amazing sense of fashion sense made her the perfect, yet hard to control, wedding planner. She was married to Jasper Whitlock, who worked as a high school counselor. While he kept a cool and level head, my sister held pure excitement and bounce. They were the definition of opposites in love, but their differences only brought them closer together. They married in their first year of college. We all thought it wouldn't last, but they did. In fact, they are more in love now than they ever were.

"We're all meeting there at seven," I stated, putting my dirty dish in the sink. I was going to wash it when Bella's small hand covered mine. I turned, facing her, silently questioning her with my eyes. She smiled and gently squeezed my arm, while her other hand took the plate away from me.

"Don't worry, I'll do it. Now go to work!" She said, with an angelic smile. I pulled her to me and gave her a tight squeeze. Hugging her, I basked in her glorious scent.

_Seriously, someone should bottle her scent. They'd make millions._

"See, you can be nice when you want to," I whispered in her ear, knowing the reaction I would get.

She pushed me away and smacked me on the shoulder, "Go to work, ass!"

With a chuckle, I placed a kiss on her cheek and made my way to the front door. "Next time you are washing your own damn dishes!" Bella warned.

I closed the door with a laugh, shaking my head at the comical antics of my best friend.

8~*~8

**Bella POV**

I looked around the bar, searching for the hottest guy I could find. Then I saw him. "Edward!" I yelled after Edward.

I must admit that my best friend was one hot son of a gun. His beautiful green eyes found mine, a smile immediately gracing his plump lips. He made his way over to me and pulled me into a hug. After we let go, I looked behind him, searching for a girl, only to find an empty space.

"Where the fuck is she? Did she bounce?" I asked impatiently. He told me that she had to take a detour to the restroom. I asked him if it was appropriate to take a dump before meeting me, but he ignored my question.

"Remember, be nice," Edward warned, putting his large hand on my shoulder.

_He expects me to be nice? Ha, we'll see about that. _

I had to meet the possible hag first.

"Nice isn't really my forte," I answered truthfully.

_No sense in giving him false hope._

"Bella, please," he begged, pouting.

_Fuck, he knows I can't resist his pout._

With a grunt, I agreed I would do my best. We were talking about our day at work, when all of a sudden a strawberry blonde was hugging me. She held on to me tightly, cutting off my air supply. I was going to knee the bitch when she loosened her hold on me, but kept me at arm's length.

"Hey! You must be Bella; it is so great to finally meet you. I'm Tanya!" Her voice was high, like she had been sucking on helium, while her words went a mile a minute. She kissed my cheek – _what the fuck?_ – before offering to get us drinks. She walked away with a smile and promises of beer.

"So what do you think of her so far?" Edward asked with his hands in his pockets.

_How the fuck was I supposed to know about her after that quick little meeting?_

"Did you see that lip action? I think she wants me," I said with a smile. Edward laughed and poked me in the side. I poked him back, causing a war to start.

We laughed as we each tried to poke and block simultaneously. "Um, guys?" Strawberry shortcake said, holding three beers. I grabbed one, filled my mouth with beer, and then swallowed it in one large gulp.

_I need a good buzz!_

"You're Tanya right?" I asked, wanting to make sure, since I didn't clearly hear her name the first time she spoke. She told me she was, and then I asked her to tell me about herself.

Biggest. Mistake. Of. My. Life.

She went on and on about her job as a secretary for some law firm. I was shocked by her enthusiasm. I mean she was a secretary, not a God-damn astronaut. Why was she so excited about being a fucking secretary? I looked to Edward for help, hoping that he could come up with an excuse to get me away from her for a while. But when I looked to my left, the fucker wasn't there. He was off mingling with Jasper and Emmett.

_Douche._

"And then –"

"That is so great!" I said, cutting her off. "I'm going to go… not here," I said, getting the fuck out of there, saving my ears from further pain. She was nice I guess, but she talked way too much and way too fast. I walked over to where I saw a blonde head and a black head by the corner: Rosalie and Alice. On my way to them I walked past Edward, and I made sure to sucker punch him hard on his arm.

"What the hell!" he screamed, wincing as he put his left hand on his right arm. Emmett and Jasper laughed at his expense, pointing at his arm. I chuckled, as I walked away with a shit-eating grin on my face.

"What up, ladies?" I said, joining their conversation. They both said hello and immediately asked about Tanya. "She's okay, I guess. But fuck, she talks a lot. Edward has done worse, but he has also done better so I'm not sure whether to give my seal of approval," I explained.

"Well then, why are you talking to us? You need to be over there and finding out more about her!" Rosalie ordered. I rolled my eyes and continued to drink my beer, ignoring her commands to leave. Rosalie was a tough girl who you did not want to mess with. When I first met her I didn't get that, causing us to get in a huge fight. Afterwards we busted out laughing and became what we are now – best friends. Rosalie was also extremely beautiful – _bitch knows it too_. She had natural blonde hair, blue eyes and a rocking body. I wasn't a lesbian but I could tell when a girl was hot.

"Bella, she's right. I mean, she totally could be pretending to be a sweetheart when in reality she is a total bitch. It wouldn't be the first time," Alice said while drinking from her martini, her eyes far away, possibly recalling Edward's past girlfriends.

Sighing, I agreed, but told them that they were paying for my hearing aid that I definitely would be requiring. Alice was the opposite of Rosalie but just as beautiful. Alice had short black hair, always in spikes, with a tiny body that any fairy would envy. I laughed lightly at that, making Rosalie and Alice look at me funny. I walked away, ignoring the looks of confusion they gave me.

I looked for a strawberry blonde head in the crowd only to see it next to a bronze one. I walked over to them and said hello again. Something passed through Tanya's face, but as soon as it appeared, it was replaced with a smile.

_What was that?_

"Edward, go away, I'm not done with her yet." Edward rolled his eyes and walked away, leaving a tense and angry Tanya. _What's up with her?_ "Okay, so you know you need my approval right?" She nodded slowly, letting me continue. "So why should I give it to you?"

The smile on her face contradicted the irritation in her eyes. "I will take good care of Edward. We have been dating for a couple of weeks, but he is already special to me. By giving me your approval, you are putting Edward in good hands." She muttered something under her breath, but it was way too low to hear it.

I thought about her words and let them settle into my brain. "Edward!" I screamed over the music, causing everyone to look at me. I ignored their looks and motioned Edward towards us.

"Jesus, Bella, use your inside voice," Edward said, putting his arm around Tanya's shoulders. She smiled and snuggled into his side, then looked at me with a proud smirk. For some reason this bugged me, but whatever.

"Nah, well anyways, I have come to my decision." Tanya stiffened and looked at me with impatient eyes. _Please, calm your ass down, princess_. "Edward, you can be with Tanya."

_Why he would want to, I don't know._

"Thank you so much, Bella!" Edward hugged me and then left hand in hand with Tanya. They walked away, leaving me to rethink my decision. I saw the smile on Edward's face as Tanya giggled. When he closed his eyes while he laughed, Tanya looked behind her shoulder and smirked at me.

_I should feel good, right? I gave Edward what he wanted, so why do I feel like I just sold him to the devil?_

* * *

**So what do you think? Please review, so I'll know if I should continue this!**

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**- Jeskka**


	2. Chapter 2  Breakdown

**In this chapter you'll see more about Bella's promiscuous ways, and more about Tanya**

**You'll see that Tanya is a little...well... just read**

**Disclaimer - I don't own Twilight...FML**

* * *

**Edward POV**

"Bella, are you here?" I called walking into our seemingly empty apartment. None of the lights were on, so I assumed she went to some guy's house or preferably she went to have some fun with Rose and Alice. I highly doubted it; my brain only came up with these excuses to help ease my mind.

_I mean, you would think I would be used to it, since Bella does it all the time. _

The thought of her fucking some other guy made my skin crawl. Even in high school I was uncomfortable with it. None of the guys she dated were ever good enough for her, none of them deserved to be anywhere near her. I wasn't exactly proud of it, but I admit that I scared off a guy here and there. Bella didn't know. She just assumed they lost interest in her.

Even though I tried my best to scare off as many guys as I could, some still found their way to her.

It was so hard to watch her cry over someone that broke her heart. Many times I offered to beat them up for her, but she always begged me not to. Again, I admit that I did beat up some of the ones that broke up with her, but mainly those that did the most damage.

What I always wondered was what happened to Bella all those years ago that made her change. She used to be a girl who only entered relationships that she knew would last longer than a couple of months, but then something changed. It happened so fast. One minute she was dating a man that she cared for, then the next minute he was out of her life. That was when she started going for men who she knew would never offer her more than sex. It was the end of her and relationships. I questioned her about it, but I never received a reply.

Eventually, I let it go, because I wasn't interested in relationships at the time either. Now, things are changing. I got sick of random sex with strangers. I just hope that one day, Bella will feel the same.

After Bella gave her approval, Tanya and I went to have some us time, where I also asked her to officially be my girlfriend. She of course said yes, leaving us happy and glowing.

I was amazed that Tanya didn't suffocate herself when she talked.

_I use to think Alice was bad. _

Tanya was easy to be with and that was the best I could hope for, right? I yawned on my way to my bedroom. My feet hurt from all the walking I had done today, and my ears hurt from the loud sounds of the bar and Tanya's high pitched voice.

I looked at my bed and smiled, remembering when Bella was there this morning. Too exhausted to do anything else, I climbed onto my bed and rested my body on its soft surface. I closed my eyes, truly feeling the tension in all parts of my body, while willing myself to relax.

I thought about Bella and where she was right now. Thinking of her always brought a smile to my lips and a warm feeling to enter my body. My number one girl was the shit. Where ever she was, I hoped she was safe and happy.

**Bella POV**

I was becoming a fucking expert at finding my clothes. With skill and grace, I expertly gathered my clothes that were thrown around the strange room not too long ago. After my underwear and pants were on, I put on my bra and shirt. I looked at the bed to see the guy I just had sex with; his snores filled the room as he slobbered on his pillow. I didn't even know his fucking name.

_Won't my parents be proud?_

With an angry grunt, I left the messy room, grabbing my purse and keys. I ran down the grime filled apartment stairs and walked to my faded red truck. Getting inside, I noticed how the shining moon lit up the pitch black sky.

_Fuck, how long was I in there with him? _

I started my truck, the engine roaring, just to turn it off again. I slammed my head against the steering wheel and screamed. I was so fucking tired of this, tired of what I was and constantly doing.

I thought about all those times Edward said, "Unlike you, I don't want meaningless sex," but he didn't realize that I was tired of it too. He didn't know that I also wanted more, something stronger, deeper. I just didn't know how to get it and who to get it from.

I drove home fast, anxious to get home, to a place of comfort.

I wanted to slap myself when tears fell from my eyes, reminding me of how weak I was.

Sniffling, I unlocked the door to our condo and made my way inside. I felt immediate relief from the feeling of home, from the feeling of knowing Edward was here. I went into my own private bathroom and let the shower remove any evidence that might expose what I had done tonight. Even after I was dressed in my pajamas and wet from just leaving the shower, I still felt dirty.

It was always like this but did I learn? No, I just keep doing it again and unfortunately I would keep doing it. I didn't see any other way for me. I use to do relationships, I only did relationships, but that didn't work out for me. Relationships end badly, they always do. Sex with no strings attached means I can't get hurt. I looked at my bed and realized it didn't look too inviting. I bit my lip and contemplated going to see if Edward was awake, knowing that he could cheer me up. I glanced at my alarm clock to see that it was three o' clock in the morning.

_Edward is definitely not awake. _

I decided that I would check anyway, because who knows, he might surprise me. I quietly made my way to his room and gently opened his bedroom door. I smiled at what I saw. Edward was lying on his stomach on the bed, still dressed in his work clothes, while softly snoring.

I chuckled as I undressed him, leaving him in only his boxers and undershirt. I pulled the covers over his muscular body and tucked him in. I kissed him on the forehead and whispered goodnight. I looked at his face, marveling at his beautiful features. His green eyes that were currently hidden from me, his jaw line, and of course his amazing bone structure.

My overall happiness depended on Edward. If he was happy, then all was right with the world. Edward had been the only one who really knew me, who actually wanted to get to know me. Only in Edward's arms did I actually feel as if I was worth a damn. Getting one last look at the handsome man I called my best friend, I closed the door feeling slightly better. I walked down the hallway towards the living room, smiling as I passed pictures of me and Edward. I burst out laughing when I saw the picture of us when we were seven years old, covered in peanut butter. A simple peanut butter sandwich turned into an all-out disaster.

Still happy from my trip to memory lane, I sat down on the couch, and began channel surfing.

Lifetime? _Hell no_

TNT? _Not in the mood_

TBS? _Sure_

Twenty minutes into The Office, and I was out like a light.

8~*~8

**Edward POV**

"Edward, wake up," someone said, bringing me out of my deep slumber. I felt all of my senses becoming more alert, but I refused to open my eyes. I grunted when I felt someone gently shake me. "Edward," Bella said.

I grunted again in response and scooted further into my bed. I smiled when I heard Bella walk away; I was victorious. But of course, when it came to Bella, I never won. When I heard her stomping into my room, I immediately braced myself expecting her to shake me, but nothing came. There was complete and utter silence, nothing but the sounds of our breathing. My heart started to accelerate, anxious for what Bella was planning.

I flinched when something cold pressed against my ear. "Wake up!" Bella yelled through a bullhorn. A scream escaped my lips as I fell off my bed, landing harshly onto the carpeted floor. My annoyance heightened when the sounds of Bella's laughter filled the room.

"It was about damn time! You know how long it took for me to get your ass out of bed? A long time, that's what. Now get off the floor and come get breakfast." Bella walked away – triumphant. I groaned, lifting my body from the floor, my eyes being blinded by the harsh light that filled the room.

I walked into the kitchen, a frown firmly in place. "You are going to pay for that Swan." Bella smirked at my empty threat.

"Hey, you're lucky that I put the bullhorn on the lowest setting," she told me as if she did me a big favor. In a way she did, I guess. She could have put it in the highest setting, but then I probably would have lost my sense of hearing, and I doubted she would want to do that.

Minutes later we were both laughing at the morning we shared.

8~*~8

"Thank you for the wonderful evening, Tanya," I said as we held hands, walking to her apartment building from the park. We had enjoyed a movie and a simple walk through the park, just enjoying each other's company.

"I should be thanking you," Tanya said, a giggle escaping her lips.

We swung our hands and laughed at the memories of our day. A woman in her late forties passed us and smiled at our intertwined hands. She politely smiled at me, and then I smiled in return. When the woman was out of ear shot, Tanya let go of my hand like it was on fire.

"Tanya what's wrong?"

"How dare you look at that woman while you're with me! So what, are you into old sluts now? Huh? You like older women? You want her don't you?" Tanya screamed, tears threatened to run down her tan cheeks.

I pulled her into my arms and rubbed her back soothingly. "No Tanya, I only want you," I said hoping to comfort her. I held her, confused as to what just transpired.

Things with Tanya had been getting weirder. The night I smiled at the woman was strange, but I thought Tanya was just having a bad day. Well, Tanya had been having a bunch of bad days; it was rare to catch her on a _good_ day. I kept on telling myself that I had to make us work, but Tanya's bizarre behavior was wearing down my will to stay in our relationship. She was clingy, had weird mood swings, and she overreacted to everything. I understand that not every relationship will be perfect, but was this normal? I had never dated a girl like Tanya, a girl who seemed like she could crack at any moment, it worried me.

I ran my hands through my hair, let out an aggravated sigh, and walked to the front door, needing to leave. Bella wasn't here tonight; she was probably out doing some new man. I shook my head and focused at what I was about to do – break up with Tanya. I hoped I could do it smoothly, since I was never good at break ups, they're either awkward or hurtful.

I turned on the engine of my silver Volvo, and drove out towards Tanya's apartment. I knew I was breaking the deal I made with myself, but I just couldn't handle it anymore. I wanted a relationship full of love and promise, and I knew I wouldn't get that from Tanya. It wouldn't be fair of me to make her believe that, so in a way, it was best to end things now. Even though I knew that this was for the best, I couldn't help but feel disappointed – I had another failed relationship to add to the growing list.

_Will I ever find the one I was meant to spend my life with?_

Before I could think further on the subject, I arrived at Tanya's and quickly found a parking spot near the front. With quick steps, I walked to the front door, called Tanya, and waited for her to buzz me in. When she did, I made my way to the elevator, sharing it with an elderly woman and her hairless cat.

The cat hissed at me while the woman cooed and petted its head. I fidgeted with my feet as I waited to hit Tanya's floor. When it did, I said goodbye to woman and even the cat.

When I reached Tanya's door, I paused, thinking about how I was going to go about this. I didn't want it to drag on longer than needed, but I didn't want it to be quick and cold. Deciding to just go with the moment, I knocked on the door and patiently waited for her to open the door.

Tanya opened the door wearing a lovely purple dress, looking very attractive. "You look lovely Tanya," I said giving her a quick hug. Her eyes filled with anger when I stopped her from giving me a kiss, but she let me in anyway. "We need to talk, Tanya." I didn't let her interrupt me, but I could see it in her eyes – she knew. "You are such an amazing woman, and so beautiful and nice but – "

"No, no, no!" she screamed, her eyes widening in horror.

"– But I think it will be best if we break up – "

"You can't! No!"

"– I'm so sorry, really I am."

Tanya started to cry, her tears coming down her face at a vast speed. She kept muttering under her breath as she pulled violently on her hair. I ran to her, determined to make up for the pain I caused. She collapsed to the floor before I could get to her, screaming loudly.

"You can't leave me!" She hugged me, crushing me to her. I hesitantly put my arms around her, not sure what to do. She continued to sob as I held her in my arms, as she screamed for me not to leave her. "You can't, you just can't. Oh please, don't leave!" I shushed her and told her to breathe to the best of her ability as she gasped for air.

"I won't leave you," I assured.

_This isn't good, not at all._

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**So what do you think about Tanya's breakdown?**

**Hmm... and will Bella continue her promiscuous ways?**

**Reviews mean the world!**

**And follow me on twitter for teasers! - My name on twitter is loyalluvwriter**


	3. Chapter 3 Fights and ruined nights

***sigh* You all have no idea how much your reviews mean to me. They left me glowing :) **

**And just the fact that you are reading my story means a lot.**

**Warning: To make Edward and Bella realize they love each other...well, it's going to take some serious shit to get their heads out of there asses so be prepared for anything and everything**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight**

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****Bella POV**

_Our condo is such a dirty fucking mess. I highly doubt Edward will get his lazy ass up and clean. _

This left me to do the cleaning – _fuck my life_. So far I had wiped every hard surface, scrubbed away every inch of dirt and grime, and sprayed a shitload of Febreeze. I also found things I thought I had lost.

I even found a sandwich under the couch cushion…

Surprisingly, I found myself in a good mood; I even whistled as I vacuumed.

Tired of cleaning, I unplugged the vacuum, rolled up the cord, and put the vacuum in the cleaning supply closet. I admired my handiwork with a smile, feeling accomplished for getting my ass to do something, even something as simple as cleaning. I tapped my chin with my finger, wondering what the fuck I should do next, but was left with no ideas. After what seemed like an hour, I decided that I needed to take a shower after my cleaning adventure. Walking into my room, I sought out clothes to wear in my walk-in closet. Deciding on being casual today, I grabbed a simple pair of light colored jeans, a red V-neck, and a bra and panties set.

The hot water was a relief to the tension in my body. I massaged my scalp with my strawberry-scented shampoo, letting its aroma relax me further. After I was done and clean, I reluctantly turned off the water and dried myself off with a towel, already missing the heat of the water. I changed into my clothes and exited the bathroom to walk directly into my bedroom since they were connected. I went to my clothes hamper, enjoying the feel of the soft, white carpet under my feet. I put my dirty clothes in the hamper, and looked around my clean room. Needing to know what time it was, I glanced at the clock to see that it was one o'clock. I brushed my wet hair, went to the bathroom again, and brushed my teeth. Afterwards, I looked at the clock again with concern.

_Edward still isn't awake? _

I walked out of my room and down the hall to Edward's bedroom, wondering if he was still asleep. I placed my ear gently against the door only to hear nothing but silence. I knew he came home last night because his keys were on the hanger. Since it was Sunday, there was no need to wake him up, so I let him be.

With caution, I left the hallway and went into the kitchen to make myself my special grilled cheese. Taking out the bread, cheese, and butter, I wondered why Edward was asleep so late. The latest he ever woke up on weekends was around eleven. I shuddered, wondering if he had some _fun time_ with Tanya last night. But then why didn't he stay with Tanya at her place? After the bread was toasted and the cheese was melted to perfection, I grabbed a plate for my sandwich and added lettuce and tomato.

I was practically swallowing my food when Edward walked in, looking like death.

"Holy crap, you look like shit," I said, my brain filter failing. Edward's green eyes were dull, his eye lids droopy, and his skin was so pale – almost green. Overall he looked lost and tired, as if he was stuck in a nightmare he couldn't get out of.

"Thanks, Bella," he said, his voice laced heavily with sarcasm. Edward made his way to the refrigerator and pulled out a water bottle. He chugged the thing down while I offered to make him something to eat. He ignored me and made himself a bowl of cereal instead. I rolled my eyes and washed my dishes, irritated by his behavior.

"You slept in late," I stated, trying to focus on the dish in my hands. Turning my body, I risked a look at him.

The spoon his was holding stopped mid-air as he looked at me, irritation evident in his face. Edward's green eyes narrowed slightly, his lips turning into a sneer. "No shit, Bella. Do you want to point out anything else that's obvious? Do you want to tell me how the sky is blue and that we need air to survive?"

I felt anger flow through me, but I remained calm. Lashing out wouldn't make things better.

_But it would put him in his place!_

With much difficulty, I ignored my inner voice, and ignored Edward's words. Edward only acted like a jackass when something was wrong or he had a bad night. It seemed it was both.

I kept trying to talk to him and have some polite conversation, but he just ignored me the whole fucking time. When he did speak, he made a sarcastic remark or a mean-spirited comment. I could handle that if he was joking around, but his voice was serious and snarky.

I knew I needed to discover what was wrong, before I unleashed the fury that was building inside me. My face was turning red, my fists clenched, and my eyes squinted shut. I was starting to lose it.

Tired of his asshole act, I made the decision to just confront him on it. "Edward, tell me what's wrong," I demanded with my teeth clenched. I had to be calm and supportive, but those emotions weren't present at that moment.

He swallowed the last of his cereal and looked at me with pure aggravation. "What makes you think something is wrong?" he questioned. His tone was defensive and cold, his body rigid.

I wanted to laugh when he said that, but I knew it would only further piss him off. I didn't need him acting like an even bigger asshole.

Although I didn't laugh, my response wasn't much better. "Hmmm, I don't know, maybe it's because you're acting like a PMS-ing bitch!" I shouted with my hands on my hips. Edward glared at me, while he practically threw his dishes in the sink followed by him storming out of the kitchen. Quick to follow, I matched his pace, and pursued him as he marched to his room. "Edward, please, tell me what's wrong," I asked – changing tactics – in a soft voice, for I was only concerned. I didn't like seeing him like this.

"You know, Bella, I don't have to tell you every fucking thing in my life!" he shouted as he continued to stomp to his room. "Just keep your fucking nose out of _my _business and cook something or whatever the fuck it is that you do! Seriously, you have no idea how much you annoy me! There is this thing called space, if you could give me some, well that would be fucking great!" The venom in his velvet voice stung, hurting in ways I didn't know were possible. I nodded, holding back tears, and closed the door with a defeated click.

I was very proud of myself, for I didn't cry until I reached my bedroom.

8~*~8

We hadn't spoken for two days, meaning we only had today to make up or else we would break our number one rule. For the past two days, our home had been filled with nothing but silence and tension. It hadn't exactly been a loving and warm environment, like it used to be.

I only asked what was wrong because I cared for Edward. I just wanted to help, to take away the pain. I never thought my questioning would lead to a fight –I had hoped it would lead to a solution. But when had my mouth ever led me to good things? I didn't like being angry with Edward, especially when I knew that I caused the argument. I kept replaying his words in my head, the pain increasing every time his cold velvet voice said the words I wished I could forget.

'_I don't have to tell you every fucking thing in my life,_' he had said. Those words especially killed me, for I thought we told each other everything. I thought I was here to listen to him when he couldn't confide in anyone else. If he couldn't divulge his secrets to me, who could he reveal them to?

After our fight, I made sure to keep extra busy at work to distract myself from the hurt his words had caused. I took on more shifts then needed; I even started locking up on more nights instead of making someone else do it for me. Even when I was home, I spent all of my time in my room – Edward did the same. I used to look forward to going home, but that seemed to have changed for the both of us. We completely ignored each other. I felt like I didn't have a roommate.

I missed him, but being the coward I was, I didn't make the first move to apologize. Even though I knew I should.

But he needed to apologize too; he played a major part of the battle. He hurt me with words, while I just asked questions that happened to get on his nerves.

I knew I wasn't supposed to answer anger with anger, but fuck, I couldn't control myself. I knew I was supposed to act like a mature woman, but that's no fun.

_Yea, look where that got you._

Sometimes I really hated my inner voice.

I was on the couch watching the Simpson's Movie, hoping it would cheer me up, but with no fucking luck. My body tensed when I heard the door open, meaning Edward was home. I kept my eyes on the television, ignoring the urge to look at him, to acknowledge him. I heard the sounds of keys jingling and his feet moving around. I stiffened, feeling the spot on the couch next to me dip.

"Bella," Edward whispered softly, but I still didn't move my eyes from the television. "Bella, please look at me," he begged. I reluctantly turned my head, only to get lost in his sparkling green eyes. I saw so many emotions in his eyes – guilt, sadness, confusion, and helplessness. They all petrified me.

I didn't want any of them there.

"Yes?" I asked in a monotone voice.

_Gosh, Bella, at least try here. He's making an effort._

"I am so unbelievably sorry! I overreacted, but it's only because I'm going through a really tough time right now." He breathed out a sigh of relief when I nodded in understanding. "You're my best friend and I know I can tell you anything, but there are just some things that I need to figure out on my own. That doesn't give me an excuse to act like a jackass."

I gave him a humorless chuckle, letting his words float in the air. His words had hurt me, but I could see it in his eyes that he regretted what he said, that he wished he could take them back. I also fucked up – I overreacted and I was too pushy. So of course I would push him over the edge.

"I overreacted just as much as you did, but you've got to know that I was just worried about you. I want – no _need _– you to be happy Edward. I also understand that you can't tell me everything, and yes, you did act like a jackass," I said with a smile.

He pulled me into his warm embrace and held me tightly. "I need you to be happy too." We held each other as we muttered apologies. He ran his hands through my hair, calming me. I cuddled into his chest, loving how I seemed to fit perfectly against him.

"Next time, can you warn me when you're going to act like a prick?" I asked semi-seriously.

I felt his body shake with laughter, bringing a smile to my lips. "You'll be the first to know."

We had forgiven each other, but I still couldn't shake off the bad feeling I had. Something was wrong, and it was obviously messing with Edward. He said he could handle it on his own, but could he? I wanted to ask him again, I wanted to see if he would tell me what was wrong this time, but I doubted he would.

_He wants to handle this, then I'll let him. He can take care of his own problems, but if he can't… then what?_

8~*~8

Edward and I walked into Emmett's bar, and as soon as we walked further inside, we were called by our friends to join them at their table that was reserved just for us. The table was always supposed to remain empty just in case one of us, or all of us, came to the bar. None of us had waited for a table at Emmy's since the day it opened.

We sat down, and greeted everyone – Jasper, Alice, Rosalie, and even Emmett was here to grace us with his presense.

"Hey don't you got to be working?" I asked Emmett, he was sitting next to Rose with a beer in hand.

He smiled. "Nah, they got it covered," he answered, looking around the bar. Edward and I ordered our drinks, and all of us started talking about what was new in our lives since we hadn't really gotten the chance to hang out.

"I'm just so happy! We're getting more clients, and they love our work so they also spread the word!" Alice was talking about the whole wedding planning business. I was so proud of her and Rose, they work hard and now they earn hard.

"Alice forgot to mention there might be an article about us in the news paper," Rosalie added, pride filling her voice.

"No way, babe!" Emmett exclaimed, wrapping his arm around her shoulder. Jasper did the same and we all congratulated them. Jasper kissed her on the cheek and told Alice how proud he was of her. Fuck, I wanted that so badly. I wanted someone to kiss me and tell me they were proud of me, someone to be there and hold me at night and whisper sweet things in my ear.

I don't know how, but Edward sensed that I was feeling crummy, so he put his arm around my shoulder. He didn't say anything, and I was glad, I didn't want him to. We sat there, enjoying the company of our friends when we heard a high pitched voice.

"Edward there you are!" Tanya yelled through the noises of the bar. I could have sworn everyone cringed when her voice reached their eardrums. Edward looked at her in shock, while the rest of us looked at her in disappointment.

**Jasper (POV)**

I thoughts it was going to be just us. I feel horrible about it since I don't know her too well, but I just don't like her. My night is ruined.

**Alice (POV)**

I don't know why no one likes her, she's not too bad….I guess.

**Rosalie (POV)**

I'm going to kick Edward ass for bringing her here.

**Emmett (POV)**

Aw, she's going to ruin all the fun! Eh, this just means I'll have to drink more.

**Edward (POV)**

I did not invite her, and I didn't tell her I was going to be here tonight. How the hell did she know I was here?

**Bella (POV)**

Just fucking great, strawberry shortcake just wrecked my night.

**Edward (POV)**

Tanya sat next to me and smiled as if nothing was wrong. I was thoroughly annoyed. I didn't tell her to meet me here, and I wondered how she even knew where I was. Even though they tried to hide it – except Rosalie – I could tell that my friends didn't want her here, and I agreed with them. All of us were so busy we barely had time to meet up and talk and just hang out. Now, when we finally had the chance and the time to be together, Tanya shows up.

"Tanya, let's talk outside for a minute." She nodded and smiled as we left.

We were outside when I said, "What are you doing here?" I knew I needed to calm down, but I was so aggravated.

She shrugged, putting on an innocent face. "I wanted to see you. Is that so bad?"

"No, but tonight is for me and my friends. We don't get to spend too much time together, so I would appreciate it if you… I don't know…" I didn't know how I wanted to tell her that I wanted her gone.

She stared at me in defiance. "I came to be with you, and instead of appreciating me and being happy, you want me to leave! Well, no, I'm not going anywhere, but if you want you can leave." After she said that, she left me and went back inside the bar, leaving me with my blood boiling.

**Bella (POV)**

Okay, this isn't right. Tanya came back, but Edward didn't. Something is seriously wrong with this. Since I was feeling bitchy I shoved past Tanya and walked towards the front.

"Watch were you're going!" she screeched as she stumbled. I ignored her and walked into the cold night air to see Edward pacing in front of the bar. When he saw me, he stopped, and turned his back to me. I walked up to him, put my hand on his shoulder, and I just stared at the cars that drove by. I couldn't tell what he was feeling, but I could feel he was tense by the hand I kept on his shoulder.

"Nice night," I stated, looking up at sky.

Edward nodded, and with a sigh, all the tension in his body left his body. Edward turned his head to look at me, his eyes showing just how bothered he was by Tanya's unexpected visit, but he tried not to show it on the rest of his face. I wanted to beat the shit out of Tanya for doing this to him.

"I'm sorry about Tanya. I swear I didn't invite her." It was obvious that Edward wanted me to know that he had nothing to do with Tanya coming here, but he didn't have to assure me – I could tell by his face that Tanya's presence was not one he was expecting, which made me wonder how she knew we were here in the first place. I didn't think too much about that since Edward probably told her we were going to be here, but didn't invite her.

"It's okay, and besides, now I have someone to make fun of. Discretely, of course," I said jokingly, but I actually meant it. I was slowly starting to hate Tanya, and the affect she was having on Edward. At first I just thought she was annoying, but now I was starting to feel like there was more to her. I felt like the Tanya we saw, the Tanya she allowed us to see, wasn't really her – it was a façade. I wanted to know what was behind the act. I wanted to know the real Tanya. I briefly wondered if I would like what I'd find.

"Okay," he sighed as we walked back into the restaurant.

When we got back to the table, we saw a smiling Tanya, and our very agitated friends.

"This should be fun," I muttered sarcastically.

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**Tanya is such a joy kill. She ruins everything.**

**SO I have a question for you: Who do you think will realize they love the other first? Edward or Bella?**

**Because they are both not going to instantly realize they love each other, because well that aint going to happen**

**And in case you haven't noticed Strawberry shortcake is Bella's nickname for Tanya**


	4. Chapter 4 The Phone call

**Thank you for the reviews and adding this story to your alerts! :)**

**Okay, so I got some people telling me they think Bella will fall in love first, and then I got a couple of pm's that said they thought Edward would fall first. I, of course, already know who will realize they are in love first so I know who will be disappointed.**

**This chapter: You'll see that Edward isn't the only one who has problems**

**Disclaimer - I don't own Twilight...FML**

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****Bella (POV)**

I'm never fucking eating with Tanya again. It was the worst night of my life, and Emmett, Rosalie, Jasper, Alice, and Edward would agree with me. Tanya? She had a fucking blast. I swear, girl wouldn't shut the hell up. I thought her high-pitched voice was annoying, but that has nothing on her laugh. I don't know how Edward stands her.

Well anyway, after Edward and I kissed and made up – without the kissing – everything went back to normal. Well as normal as it could be. Edward had been acting so strange; it worried me. I mean, I understood that he had to do things on his own, but whatever it was, it was stressing him out. He was always walking around as if he had the world on his shoulders, like he was in something he couldn't escape from. I wanted to help him, I really fucking did, but I promised not to stick my nose into places where it didn't belong. I just never realized how hard it would be. I mean fuck, you would think I would be able to give Edward space, but I simply didn't want to. Edward is my BFFL – that's right BFFL – which means I have some right to his business... right? Gah, life was turning complicated way too fucking fast.

What next?

Soon Edward is going to crash through our door and scream that he is someone's baby daddy. Wouldn't that be a treat?

Now it had been several weeks since our big fight/make up, and Edward was only getting worse. I tried to ask him if he needed my help but he would only shrug me off, claiming he was fine. But I knew he wasn't, he was far from fine. But what could I do? I had boundaries, remember. I didn't like this – this helpless thing. It sucked ass, and let me tell you, ass doesn't taste good.

Since I couldn't ask him what was wrong I tried to guess it.

Work trouble? _Possibly, his job is very important to him, but then I doubt he would hide something like that from me. _

Problems at home? _Doubtful, his family is the shit, they hardly ever have arguments._

As I thought through all the possibilities a certain face flashed through my mind. Then it clicked. His problems must be about Tanya! It totally made sense. The girl is the only thing in his life that had changed recently, and Edward doesn't like talking about his relationships when they'd go sour. So it must be her, its got to be.

Realizing this didn't help me; if anything it gave me more questions. If they had problems, why not dump the bitch? Did he catch her cheating or something? No; Edward wouldn't tolerate that shit, but it would be a huge hit to his ego.

I seriously needed to talk to my boy.

But Edward wasn't here, he was at work, then he was going off to Tanya's.

_Yuck_

I got up from the couch and turned off the television. I stretched, and went to my room to get my purse. I searched though its contents until I finally found my phone. I searched for any missed calls before I made a call of my own.

"Hello James!" I greeted when he answered the phone after the third ring.

"Hello sweetie," he replied, his tone so sweet I might get diabetes. I met James about three weeks ago at Emmy's. We hit it off immediately and before I knew it we were in a hotel doing you know what. We have been seeing each other a lot and I like him more and more every day. I still don't know why he refuses to do anything at his place, but then I don't want to do anything at mine either. I really like James, his personality is awesome, and his body, blonde hair and blue eyes are to die for.

Who knows, this might go somewhere.

**Edward (POV)**

My life was shit. Tanya was driving me crazy, and not in the 'I love you so much' way, more like in the 'get the fuck away from me' way. I just wish... I wish I knew how to fix this. Tanya was only getting weirder and more paranoid by the second. I looked at a very old woman the other day – only because she looked like she was struggling with her bags –and of course Tanya flipped her lid. I mean, come on, an elderly woman for Christ's sake. I have tried a total of four times to break up with her, but it always ended up the same way: her screaming in my arms, begging me not to go. I didn't want to be a douche and just leave, but I was running out of options.

I got off work and went to the place I did not want to go to –Tanya's. Feeling like I was walking to my doom, I made my way to her apartment building and knocked hesitantly on the door. I heard the sounds of her heels against the hard wood floors of her apartment, then the sounds of her unlocking several locks.

She had six locks on her door, could you believe that?

"Hey honey!" she exclaimed as she finally opened the door.

Wishing I had her enthusiasm, I just stuck with the usual greeting, "Hey."

She smiled anyway and grabbed my hand with her shockingly cold one. I walked into her apartment and shivered; it was freezing in here! "What the hell? Why is it so cold in here?"

"Your funny Edward, it's nice and cozy in here, just for you!" Tanya led me to her kitchen table and sat me down like I was a child. "I made a delicious dinner," Tanya said, obviously proud of herself. I was slightly worried about her supposedly delicious meal. Last time she said that, she gave me a micro waved TV dinner. It was not good.

"Thanks." I swallowed and apologized to my tongue, throat, and stomach for the horrible meal that was sure to come. Tanya walked proudly to the table carrying two bowls of macaroni and cheese. She set the bowl in front of me and the small hope I had for good food disappeared. The smell was horrendous, and I could clearly see chunks of something that shouldn't be in macaroni and cheese. I was amazed to see Tanya chow down on what she believed was edible food, and moan when the food made contact with her tongue. With a grimace, I grabbed my spoon and scooped a small amount on my spoon. I ignored the awful smell and lifted the spoon to my lips. I wanted to barf as soon as the gunk touched my tongue, and I suddenly craved Bella's four cheese macaroni. I sighed, thinking about how I rather be with Bella than with Tanya. You would think I would _want _to spend time with my hot girlfriend.

When Tanya went to get us some drinks, I quickly stood up and threw the pathetic excuse of food away.

_Thank God_

I smiled when she returned, motioning towards my now empty bowl. She gleamed and asked me if I wanted seconds. Instead of telling her heck no, I simply told her I was stuffed, and handed her my plate. My stomach growled, but thankfully she didn't hear it.

After the dishes were in the sink, Tanya and I moved to the family room to watch television. I held her uncomfortably in my arms; worried that any little thing would make her snap. She shifted in my arms making my heart accelerate in fear of another one of her episodes. She positioned her body so she was straddling me and gave me a sly smile. Tanya placed her lips on mine as her hands softly cupped my cheek. I wrapped my arms around her, knowing it was what she wanted. Her kisses turned desperate, her hands moving to my shoulders; trying to remove my shirt. My eyes widened as I met her kisses, while trying to stop her movements. I'm a man, and usually I would be really into this, but I also wanted what was best for the long run. I didn't want to lead Tanya on by having sex with her, which would only cause more problems for me. But then it had been such a long ass time since I had sex. Tanya for sure was not in her right mind so that meant I shouldn't go for it, right?

Deciding that I couldn't do it; I gently pushed her away, sighing when she grasped my shoulders harder. "No! Don't you dare!" Tanya roughly brought her lips back to mine and began to tug at my clothing. I heard of rough – I've done rough – but this is just fucking wrong. If I don't want to have sex then I won't, Tanya be damned.

I was going to respectfully tell her to get the hell off me when my phone started ringing.

_Saved by the bell_

"Sorry, it might be important." With a huff she got off me and crossed her arms. I looked at the caller id to see that Bella was calling me from her cell phone. Tanya looked at my phone screen and grunted when she saw Bella's name. She started ranting about Bella always being in the way while my phone continued to ring. Not being able to handle her tantrum, I left the room and went into the bathroom. Enjoying the quiet, I answered my phone.

"What's up?" I asked, my mood immediately lifting.

"Edward!" Bella said her voice full of anguish. I heard her sob into her phone, as she tried, but failed, to get her words out. I heard the sound of a door slam in the background, leaving me to wonder if someone was in the house.

"Bella, what's wrong? Is someone there?" I asked, leaving the bathroom and walking to get my stuff so I could leave. I grabbed my keys and made sure I had everything, and then I walked to the door.

"Where the fuck do thing you are going! I didn't tell you you could leave! So what, she calls and now you run to her? I'm your girlfriend Edward, not her!" Ignoring Tanya's screams of protest, I muttered a quick goodbye and left her apartment. She would be dealt with later.

I ran to my car hearing Bella gasp for air on the phone. "Bella, talk to me!" I pleaded, speeding through traffic. Cars where in my way and people honked and flipped me off when I cut them off.

_Fuck red lights, _I thought when I ran one.

"Oh God, Edward I fucked up, so bad! I... oh... please help me. I'm... so sorry... so sorry!" Bella cried.

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**~One paragraph of the next chapter~**

_I walked to the kitchen and the sight before me nearly tore my heart apart. Bella was in fetal position on the floor, crying her eyes out as her body shook. I slowly made my way over to her, so I wouldn't frighten her with my sudden appearance. I said her name softly as I moved my hand to gently caress her tear-streaked cheek, but as soon as our skin made contact, she shrieked._

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**Am I horrible for leaving it there? I probably am, but I must admit I love cliff hangers.**

**I would love it if you reviewed**


	5. Chapter 5 Guilt and change

**This chapter is SO DAMN important. This chapter does several things. It opens Bella's eyes (she gets the strength to change) and it also helps bring in a new character.**

**Thank you all for reading and to the people who take the time to review!**

***Bites lip* I'm really nervous about posting this.**

**Disclaimer - I don't own Twilight...FML**

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****Edward (POV)**

I ran into our apartment, my eyes immediately searching for her. "Bella!" I called, hoping to hear her reply. I didn't hear a sound. I screamed her name as I ran to her room, but she wasn't in there. Desperate, I searched all the rooms. I went into both bathrooms, both bedrooms and living room. I came to an abrupt stop when I heard sobs coming from the kitchen.

I walked to the kitchen and the sight before me nearly tore my heart apart. Bella was in fetal position on the floor, crying her eyes out as her body shook. I slowly made my way over to her, so I wouldn't frighten her with my sudden appearance. I said her name softly as I moved my hand to gently caress her tear-streaked cheek, but as soon as our skin made contact, she shrieked.

"It's okay, I won't hurt you," I assured, slowly pulling her into an embrace. She continued to sob as I cradled her in my arms. I whispered comforting words before asking what was wrong, but Bella didn't have the strength to reply. "Whatever it is Bella, we will figure it out together." Wow, I sounded like such a fucking hypocrite. Here I was, asking Bella what was wrong out of concern, practically begging for answers, when she had done the same thing not too long ago and I had just yelled at her.

I hated seeing Bella like this; it showed how vulnerable she really was. Her tough exterior was just a façade, because underneath it all, Bella was a big softy with a matching heart. I so badly wanted to hurt whoever had done this to her. I knew violence didn't solve shit, but it sure as hell would have made me feel better. I held her tightly, silently letting her know I was here for her – that I always would be.

Thankfully her tears subsided, letting her breathe easier. I lifted her up as she whimpered softly. I carried her bridal style to her room and put her down on her bed. I was reluctant to let her go, but I knew she was emotionally and physically exhausted and needed sleep. I tenderly stroked the soft skin on her cheek until she fell asleep. I kissed her on the forehead and silently hoped that all her pain would magically go away. I would gladly transfer her pain to me, if it meant she felt nothing but happiness. She deserved happiness.

With a heavy heart, I walked to my bedroom and shed my clothes, leaving me in only my boxers. I climbed into bed and covered myself with my blankets. Their warmth was everything but soothing. No matter how much I wanted to shut off my brain, I couldn't. My thoughts ran wild, my body tossing and turning, making sleep impossible. So I just gave up – I didn't even bother trying.

I had looked over Bella, making sure that she wasn't hurt physically; so the pain she was feeling must have been an emotional one. Bella's behavior was so unlike her, she was usually so calm and collected, never showing her hurt to others. This was why I was so surprised that she even called me in the first place. Bella liked to handle things herself; but this time she called me. Something serious must have happened.

It couldn't be boyfriend troubles because she didn't have one, well, at least I didn't think she had one. No, she would have told me if she was in a relationship, I was sure of it. So then, what else could have caused her so much agony?

I was staring at the ceiling when I heard my door creak open. Bella came in with blood-shot eyes, a frown on her full lips. I scooted to the side and patted the spot next to me, inviting her to my bed. She smiled lightly and quickly joined me. I immediately pulled her to me, holding her tightly. I sighed in comfort when my nose caught a whiff of her strawberry-scented hair. Bella buried her face in my chest, taking a shaky breath. "It's okay Bella, I'm here for you. I always will be."

"Promise?" She asked quietly, her voice barely above a whisper.

I gave her an assuring squeeze. "I swear." Minutes later we both succumbed to a deep sleep.

8~*~8

I woke up before Bella, so I just stayed in bed not wanting to disturb her. I watched her beautiful face as she slept – she looked like an angel. I dreaded finding out what happened to have caused such a wretched reaction but my curiosity won out. I held onto her tighter, wanting to protect her from the world outside this bed… and because I loved the way she felt in my arms.

I shook my head to clear it of such thoughts, and decided that I would make breakfast for Bella for a change. I slowly unwrapped my arms from around her and left the bed, searching for a shirt. When I found a simple white T-shirt, I slipped it on and went to the kitchen. Doing the best I could, I made pancakes that thankfully looked and smelled edible. I took a bite of one and was pleasantly surprised to find that it was more than just edible – it was pretty damn good. Smiling, I prepared two plates and set them on the counter. Since I was impatient, I began to eat my pancakes.

"You left," Bella accused, as she walked towards me.

"Sorry," I said with my mouth full. She shook her head with a smile and gently punched my shoulder. Her eyes eventually found the pancakes, causing her smile to widen. It felt good to see her smile. I was so glad that she was better; I was worried that she would still be crying right now. But no, my girl was strong.

Bella sat next to me and immediately dug into her pancakes. "Not too bad, Edward," she commented.

I smiled as I thanked her.

"I'm so glad that you would be able to fend for yourself without me or takeout." I rolled my eyes and took my plate to the sink.

"We can't all be Five Star chefs," I replied, smirking over my shoulder.

"Damn straight."

I took the plate away from her even though she wasn't finished. "Hey!" Bella protested, reaching for her plate. I put it by the sink and turned to face her, my face completely serious.

"Tell me," I demanded. Her face visibly paled, as she began to fidget with her hands. Her eyes avoided my face; instead they focused on the wall behind me. It was obvious that Bella was hoping that I wouldn't bring up the subject of last night, but I simply couldn't ignore it. Bella's reaction last night was something severe. Unlike Tanya, Bella didn't throw tantrums for trivial things.

"What do you mean?" she whispered. She knew exactly what I meant but it seemed like she was going to make me drag it out of her.

"You know what I mean, Bella. What happened yesterday?" I asked softly. Bella still refused to meet my eyes, making me wonder what horrible thing had happened to her. Her face last night hadn't been one of fear, but of guilt.

"It was nothing, Edward. I overreacted to something. I shouldn't have fucking called you in the first place. So I'm sorry, and let's just forget it ever happened, okay?"

"No, Bella! I won't let what happened just go by! Yesterday you were so sad, so heartbroken. I want to be here for you. I know I sound like such a hypocrite, but seeing you like that yesterday…"

Bella winced while rubbing her hands up and down her arms. "Are you cold?"

She shook her head and continued to look at the wall. "I'll tell you," she murmured, her face never losing the miserable look it showed.

I nodded gratefully, and led her to the living room where we could be more comfortable. We both sat on the couch facing each other. Bella fidgeted uncomfortably in her seat, as I observed her with my eyes. But I quickly realized that it was my stare that was bothering her, so instead I focused on the space between us.

She grabbed my hand and held it tightly. "Whenever you're ready," I assured. She nodded in thanks, taking a deep breath.

"I met this guy, his name is James Henderson. I really liked him and for more than just his body! This – as you know – is a big deal for me. So hey, I thought I could try my hand at a relationship. God knows I haven't had one in a while. We started seeing each other every day and I was completely captivated by him. The only thing I didn't like was that we always had to have sex in a hotel room. I thought it was weird, but I never said anything. One night, he said that we _could _go to his place, which got me excited. We went, and wow, his place is gorgeous! I was so happy and he seemed happy, yet he kept looking over his shoulder, but I just ignored it. Well, he showed me his bedroom which led to the inevitable. But then things got really bad." Bella's eyes shut tightly as she tried in vain to rid of the memories. "In the middle of us having sex, a red-headed woman walked in. At first I was angry because I thought he had a woman roommate or something, but before I could make a fool out of myself, she started yelling at James."

I gulped, my stomach twisting. I already knew where this was headed.

"That's when I found out that the woman wasn't his roommate. She was _Mrs. _Henderson. Fuck Edward, he has a wife! I was his fucking thing on the side!" Tears fell from her eyes as she continued the story. "I was devastated. I mean, there I was thinking that I finally found someone and he has a wife! So I jumped out of the bed and rushed to put my clothes back on while they just screamed at each other. When I was dressed, I tried to leave the room, but she blocked the doorway and started calling me every name in the book. She called me a whore, a bitch, and a home wrecker. I realized that she was right. All I wanted to do was throw up, so I just shoved past her and bolted to the front door. But do you know what I ran into?"

I shook my head.

"Three beautiful little kids!" Bella bawled. "They have kids, Edward! I really am a home wrecker. I couldn't look at their faces, they were so young. One of them was practically a baby. So I ran. I hadn't driven there so I just ran home. I didn't stop; I pulled a Forrest Gump and just ran my pathetic ass home."

I held her hand with both of my mine and squeezed. "Bella, you are not pathetic, he is the one who is a sorry excuse of a man. He lied to you; he made you believe that he was single when he had already made a commitment to someone else. _He _broke a vow. _He _was the one who broke that family, not you."

Bella refused to meet my gaze so I gently grabbed her chin and tilted her face to meet my eyes. "Do you understand me Bella? None of this is your fault. You are not a bitch, you're not a home wrecker, and you're certainly not a whore," I told her.

"Thanks, I do understand… I guess. I can be a bitch sometimes, though." Bella tried to smile again, but she could only manage a grimace. "But I know for sure that I'm not sleeping around anymore. I want a serious relationship, like you. "

_No you don't, trust me._

"That's great, Bella!" I gave her a quick hug and told her that I was glad that she finally wanted more out of life than just random sexual encounters.

"Hopefully it will work out better than what happened with James. I mean, the whole reason I gave up on relationships was because I pretty much got my heart stomped on."

"What? When did this happen?" I asked, not remembering her being in a relationship that ended up too badly.

"Yes, you weren't aware of it. I was dating this guy Riley. I really liked him, but apparently it wasn't mutual."

"Oh, he wasn't into it as much as you were."

"He said he cared for me deeply, but he wasn't really a one-woman guy."

"So he was a play the field kind of guy?"

"Exactly. I thought I could handle it but eventually being just another one of his play things got to me and I broke it off."

"I'm glad; you deserve better."

"I'm glad, too. Oh God, that means I have to do the whole dating thing! I think I've forgotten how to be in a relationship." I chuckled at her words and shook my head. Bella wiped away the tears on her face as my mind raced.

I looked at her, trying to decide if I should mention my friend. "Hey, Bella?"

Her lovely brown eyes found mine. The gloom and guilt weren't completely gone, but the spark was still there. "Yes?"

"I think I might have the perfect guy for you," I told her with a slight smile on my face.

"Oh, really? May I ask who?" she asked, her eyes hopeful.

"Have you ever met Jacob Black?"

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**So...Do you want to kill me?**

**Think of it this way: Jacob will help Edward realize he loves Bella**

**Please, if you like this story please review!**

**If I get ten reviews I'll post on Friday or maybe sooner :)**


	6. Chapter 6 The Date

**Hello my lovelies! Thank you so much for reading, for your reviews, and most of all your patience. I don't really have an excuse other than that I was getting Twilighted up to date with this story. So now both sites are up to chapter six! I hope you enjoy this chapter.**

**I'm also sorry for not responding to reviews. I promise I'll be better from now on!**

**Disclaimer - I don't own Twilight...FML**

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**Bella (POV)**

"Come on hair, cooperate!" I released an aggravated pant when my hair didn't stay up the way I wanted it. I was getting ready for my date with Jacob, and I had to admit that I was excited. I had never spoken to him or seen him in person, but Edward – who was a great judge of character – had only said great things about him.

I was wearing my red strapless dress and black heels. My makeup was perfect. All I needed was my stupid hair! After a few more hair pins and some hair spray, my overall look was amazing.

I walked out of my room and into the living room where Edward was sitting on the couch, watching television. I shut my eyes tightly and stepped into his line of sight. "What do you think?" I twirled around, my eyes still closed. I thought the worst when there was nothing but silence. "Oh, I look horrible don't I? Fuck, does this red dress make me look like a hooker?" I opened my eyes to see Edward looking at me, his mouth slightly open.

"Bella," he whispered. "You look absolutely stunning!" He rushed over to me and pulled me into a hug. "Jacob better watch himself tonight," Edward whispered in my ear, making a shiver run down my spine.

"Jacob isn't some bald headed guy in his eighties, is he?" I asked. I wasn't overly picky when it came to appearances, but it was a must that I was attracted to him on some degree.

"No… he has hair," Edward teased.

My eyes widened in worry as I pictured a fugly, sweaty man with a beer belly scratching his ass as he smiled at me. "Edward!"

"What can I say, Bella?" Edward asked, throwing his hands up in the air.

"Tell me what he looks like. Is he hot?"

Edward put one hand on his hip and the other was fanning himself, "Oh, he is so dreamy!" Edward said in a girly voice. He stopped the act when I scowled. "Bella, I'm not a girl. I can't tell you about how hot he is, because I don't look at him like that, because… well I'm a dude. If you haven't noticed, I'm not gay."

"Well, I have always been suspicious…" Now it was his turn to scowl. He was going to retort when my cell phone rang from my purse – that was on the floor by my feet. I quickly searched through my purse to get to my phone. As soon as it was in my hand, I answered it. "Hello?" I asked.

"Is this Bella?" a man asked, worry lacing his tone.

"Yes," I answered. I heard the man breathe a sigh of relief and then a slight chuckle escaped him.

"Man, I thought I was calling the wrong phone number! Long story short, I lost your number, so I had to remember it. I hoped like hell that I was dialing the right number, otherwise I would have look like a total dumbass."

"And we wouldn't want that, now would we?" I chuckled.

"No we wouldn't! So, I'm here at your place, because luckily, I didn't lose your address. I'm waiting outside by the coolest car you have ever seen." I chuckled and told him I would meet him outside.

Absolutely giddy, I told Edward goodbye. "Isn't he going to meet you up here?" Edward asked.

"Nope, he is down there waiting for me." Edward growled and muttered something about manners. We hugged goodbye, and then I was off to meet Jacob. I rushed to the elevator and practically sprinted to the front door of the building. I tried to look cool when I walked outside, but it was hard since I was breathing so heavily. I either needed to work out more or my nerves were starting to get to me.

_I am going on an actual date!_

I looked around me, searching for Jacob Black. It was then that I realized that I should have had Edward take a picture of him, so I wouldn't have to stand outside looking around like an idiot. Luckily there weren't too many people, but I could tell they thought I was a loon since my head wouldn't stop moving from side to side.

I spotted a couple walking by and quickly crossed them off. I doubted that Jacob would bring another girl on our date. Then I saw a man wearing tight pink pants with a light blue shirt.

_I fucking swear, if that's him I'm going to grab Edward and –_

"Bella?" Someone tapped my shoulder making me spin around, forgetting my train of thought.

My eyes almost popped out of my eye sockets. The man in front of me was fucking gorgeous! He had beautiful, short black hair, tan skin, a totally built body, and a blinding white smile. He was way taller than me – probably six something – but damn, I didn't care!

_Please be Jacob!_

"Yes, that's me," I answered breathless. If this is Jacob, then I need to fucking thank Edward. Big time!

"Damn girl," he said, looking me up and down from head to toe. I couldn't help but blush as his eyes took in the details of my face and body.

"You are Jacob, right?" I asked, wanting to make sure.

"The very man! I can show you my ID if you're skeptical." I shook my head no as I smiled. "I _really _am glad you are Bella because damn, you are beautiful." I blushed again, making him laugh. "Yup, that's cute too." He wrapped his warm hand around mine and led me to what I assumed was his car.

He led me to a vehicle I had never seen before. "What is this?"

"A Volkswagen Rabbit, you like?" I smiled and nodded. His face immediately filled with pride. Jacob walked to the driver's side and opened the door, while I did the same with the passenger seat. When we were both in the car with our seatbelts on, Jacob started driving.

"Can I ask where we are going?"

"Bella, you never have to ask if you can ask a question – if that makes sense. Got a question on your mind? Just shoot and I'll answer. Where we going, eh? Well lovely lady, I'm taking you to dinner and then a movie. It's very cliché, but hey, I make up for my lack of creativity with my awesome personality." He smiled at me as I laughed.

I really liked Jacob.

Jacob took me to this small, hole in the wall, Mexican restaurant called Caliente. The food was amazing and Jacob made me laugh so hard I cried. Jacob had this magic ability to make me smile and feel good about myself. He was comforting and fun to be around; Jacob felt like home. He was so warm, he practically radiated happiness.

"So I got to ask. How is it that an amazing girl like you, who is beautiful and has an awesome personality, is single?" Jacob asked before he took another bite of his tamales. I swallowed hard, my heart beat racing and my hands trembling. Jacob noticed my reaction to his question and quickly tried to change the subject, but I wouldn't let him – he had to know.

"Long story short, I met a guy, liked him, had sex with him, went to his place, and found out he had a wife and three kids," I admitted. Jacob looked at me and offered a wary smile.

"Fuck, I'm sorry." We were both left in uncomfortable silence, with only tension to fill the warm air. I didn't want to tell him, especially so bluntly, but a part of me was glad that I did. If I wanted a relationship with this man, I couldn't keep secrets – even the ones I hated to admit even happened in the first place. "You feel guilty, don't you?" My eyes widened in shock, my mouth slightly opened, as I nodded.

_How did he know?_

"Yea, I could tell. Your eyes are very expressive," he told me, smiling softly.

"Edward told me I shouldn't feel guilty, but I can't help but feel that way, you know?" Jacob nodded and grabbed my shaky hand. Jacob's act of affection was tender and warmhearted. Before long, I stopped shaking. His hand held on to mine tightly, showing me that my secret wouldn't scare him away, that he was still here.

"Edward is right, Bella. That douche is the one who is to blame for the shit that went down. He doesn't deserve his wife or you, and his children ought to have a better father. Did you know he had a wife and children? No, you didn't. If you did, I probably wouldn't be sitting with you right now, because you would be purposely fucking a married man. But you're not. You got the fuck out of there, right? That makes you a good person, Bella. Some people get off on the excitement of getting caught or sleeping with someone who is taken, but did you? I bet you didn't. I bet, when you found out, you felt sick."

I nodded, because I did feel sick. I felt dirty and ugly and just all around horrible. Seeing the look of betrayal and hurt in Mrs. Henderson's eyes still haunt me at night. I also couldn't' forget the look their children gave me – innocent faces that were full of confusion. Except for the eldest, the boy with the knowing blue eyes.

_I ran from the bedroom, leaving the screaming Henderson's. I was so close to the front door, so close to freedom from this madness, but three beautiful kids where in my way. I came to an abrupt stop. There was a little girl probably three or four years old. Then, there was a boy who must have been about eight or nine. Lastly, there was a not so little boy who looked at me as if he knew why I was there. He knew what I just did and with whom. His blonde hair and blue eyes made him look exactly like his father. He looked at me and nodded, letting me pass. I walked slowly past him, never taking my eyes off his deep, blue ones._

"_There goes another one," he whispered sadly as I walked away._

"I felt awful," I admitted. Jacob gave me a small smile, held my hand tighter, but then let it go so we could continue to eat. I felt stupid because I missed his hand, his warmth.

"See? Bad people don't feel awful over shit like that. So, no more feeling guilty about it okay?"

"Okay," I said with a genuine smile. Jacob Black can work fucking miracles.

We continued to eat and talk about ourselves. We learned each other's favorite colors, books, movies, hobbies, and anything else we wanted to know. I found out that Jacob was a doctor like Edward and that's how they met. He told me that Edward and him were good friends, and often went to lunch together when they had the time. When I told him I was a chef and had my own restaurant, he flipped.

"You are the head chef _and _owner of Swan's?" I nodded, making his already big smile wider. "Fuck, I hit the jack pot tonight! I love that place, I go there whenever I get the chance. Truthfully, I was going to take you there tonight, but it's almost impossible to get reservations there."

"I might be able to hook you up, Jake." I winked making him laugh.

"Hells yea, I have connections now!" I laughed as I took the last bite of my food. "Are you done with your food?" he asked, staring at my empty plate. I nodded and told him the food was great. I also thanked him for paying. "Oh yea, I have to pay don't I?" Jake joked.

"Fuck yea you do, because I'm not." He paid the bill and showed me his pearly whites in a smile.

"I like your style, Bella. Now let's go to the movies and make out like teenagers." He grabbed my hand as we both laughed.

8~*~8

"Edward, I'm home!" I announced, walking inside. I smiled, thinking about the amazing date I just had. I had forgotten how amazing and fun dates could be. It was great getting to know someone on a personal level instead of a physical one. I made a connection with someone and it left me feeling as if I was on top of the world.

"Hey Bella," Edward said, rubbing his eyes. He was wearing a simple white T-shirt and flannel pajama pants.

I ran to him and gave him a hug. I would think of ways to repay him later, when my head could actually focus on something other than Jacob. "Thank you so damn much for introducing me to Jake!" I squeezed him harder, trying to show him how much tonight meant to me with my embrace. Edward hugged me back, but without so much force.

"I'm glad you had fun," Edward responded solemnly. "Now, can you tell me why your hair smells like nacho cheese?"

I laughed and let him go, my body losing the tingly sensation I got from his hug. "Jake and I got a little messy at the movie theatre. Oh, thanks for finding me a guy who is a good kisser." I winked as I walked towards my bedroom. Edward grunted, muttering something under his breath, and walked away.

He had Tanya, and now I had Jake. Things could only get better, right?

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**I hope you don't hate Jacob too much.**

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	7. Chapter 7 The Favor

**Hello! Okay, this chapter has a lot of good stuff! **

**Thank you all so much for reviewing and reading :)**

**Disclaimer - I don't own Twilight...FML**

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****Edward (POV)**

Several weeks had gone by since Bella's first date with Jacob. They were officially boyfriend and girlfriend now, since I had given it my approval. I was still with Tanya, unfortunately, but I had learned how to handle her. I had learned what made her angry, what made her happy, and what might trigger an episode. It was tiring, but at least things were better. I had also had sex with her, because things were improving enough for me to feel comfortable moving to the next level. I didn't love her though, not even close, and as the days went by, I doubted I ever would. A part of me still had hope, and it was that part that kept me with her.

Although I was happy that Bella and I were both in relationships, I missed hanging out with her. We have both been so busy with work and our significant others that we hadn't been spending any time together. I missed hanging out with the rest of the gang too, but there was nothing I could do about it, I suppose.

I was getting ready for work when I heard a knock on my door. I assumed it was Bella so I politely told her to wait. Rushing to put on my clothes, I searched for my left shoe which seemed to have disappeared. When I found it, I put it next to my right shoe so that I could put them on later. As I placed my belt around my waist, I told Bella to come in since I was partially dressed. She walked in, already dressed for work, and walked to my dresser. Bella grabbed my phone and started pressing buttons on it, her eyes glued to the screen. I ignored her and continued to dress: I put on my shoes, tied them, and finally put on my jacket. From the corner of my eye I saw Bella whip out her phone and dial something on it. Having enough, I walked up to her and yanked my phone out of her hand.

"What the fuck! I was using that," Bella huffed, trying in vain to get my phone. I laughed as I easily stole her phone as well, and then I looked at the screen.

"Why are you dialing in Tanya's cell phone number?" I asked, wondering why on earth Bella would want Tanya's phone number let alone want to talk to her. I knew that Tanya and Bella didn't really get along that well; I could tell by the way they acted when they were forced to talk to each other.

"Because Alice told me to get her stupid number. You and Tanya are getting serious so we decided that we should try and be friends with her since we're going to see her so fucking much," Bella explained.

"Oh… that's great. Are you sure you can handle it?"

Bella looked at me and scoffed. "She may not be my best friend forever, but I don't completely loathe her. So once I get my phone back I am going to call her to join Alice, Rosalie, and me for lunch."

"That's great Bella, have fun," I said, still wary of the whole situation.

By the looks of it, so was Bella.

"I fucking doubt it," Bella replied, walking away.

8~*~8

Tanya quietly entered Edward and Bella's apartment in fear that they were still there. She sighed in relief when she heard the sounds of an empty apartment. She walked in proudly, thinking that this would soon be her home and that Bella's room would be turned into her workspace. Tanya smiled at the thought – the thought of Bella being gone. Tanya hated Bella with a passion for Bella was a threat, a threat to her relationship with Edward. Tanya didn't like Bella being any sort of danger or competition for she believed that Bella didn't deserve to be one, she wasn't nearly as pretty enough. Tanya then refused to think about that bitch any longer. She'd rather think about Edward and her love for him.

Edward was a beautiful name for a beautiful man. Tanya knew how lucky she was to have him, and that he was hers. The first time she saw him, Tanya knew that he was the one, her soul mate. So she did what any other girl would do: she pursued him. She used her beauty and charm to capture his attention, used sweet ways to gain the approval of his friends, and that was all it took to become his girlfriend. She thought about all those times Edward had attempted to break up with her, but she understood why. Edward was afraid of how strong his feelings were for Tanya, so he tried to run, but Tanya wouldn't let him – he was hers. Edward wasn't ready to say I love you, but Tanya was willing to wait until he was ready, even though she was more than ready to say it to him.

Tanya continued to walk around, lightly touching every piece of furniture, memorizing every inch of her soon-to-be home. Tanya scowled when she saw the pictures of Edward and Bella together. Oh, how she wanted to burn them, watch them smolder as the memories burned away. But she couldn't, because no one knew she was here. Tanya timed it perfectly so that she would come exactly when Edward and Bella were both at work.

Tanya was a woman of many talents. Lock picking being one of them.

Tanya opened the door at the end of the hall, entering Edward's bedroom. Tanya greedily inhaled his scent that filled the room, making her miss his presence. Tanya walked to his closet and opened the double doors and smiled widely at how organized he was. The closet was neat, arranged by clothing and style, and everything was clean and ironed. She gently caressed his clothing, and began to wonder if Bella's room should become her closet since none of her clothes would fit. Satisfied, Tanya left the closet and headed to his bed. She stroked the comforter and sighed, the memories of their lovemaking entering her mind. The feel of his hands on her skin was mind blowing, and she would always remember his moans of pleasure.

Tanya glanced at the alarm clock on the night stand and exhaled nosily when she saw it was almost twelve o' clock. She rolled her eyes when she remembered Bella's invitation to have lunch with her and her friends. Ha, she knew Bella didn't like her and Bella knew Tanya felt the same. But Tanya had agreed – in a forced happy tone – for Edward, only for Edward.

Reluctantly, she left the apartment. Tanya walked to her car, unlocked it, and got inside. She drove to Swan's where the girls were waiting for her. She purposely drove slowly, wanting to keep them waiting. She was going, but she was going to take her sweet time. Tanya's time was precious, they should be grateful she was meeting them in the first place.

Once she was there, she got out of her car and headed inside the restaurant. The building was mostly made out of glass, and what wasn't glass was a steel color; overall the restaurant gave off a fresh and new feel, but the inside was a different story. The tables and chairs were black with red cushions, white tablecloths covered the tables, and the crystal vases on the tables were filled with fresh red roses. The soft lighting could make you feel relaxed or give you the feeling of romance. Tanya loved the place and its food, but there was no way she was going to tell Bella that.

Tanya walked to the hostess, who gave her a friendly smile. "Hello, welcome to Swan's, do you have a reservation with us today?"

Tanya looked around the room, in search of the people who invited her here. "Can you look under the name Bella Swan? I'm with them and I was wondering if they were here."

The blonde hostess smiled and nodded. "Yes, they have been waiting for you." The hostess walked away, expecting Tanya to follow. Tanya walked behind the hostess, going to where Alice, Rosalie, and Bella were patiently waiting. "Here you go." The hostess then left, leaving behind an awkward silence. Tanya wanted to roll her eyes at Alice's gleaming smile, while Rosalie and Bella didn't even acknowledge her presence.

_How dare they_, Tanya thought.

"Hello ladies, how was your day?" Tanya decided to try her hand at small talk as she sat down and immediately grabbed her menu. Everything looked delicious, to her dismay.

"Oh, I had the most amazing day!" Alice then chatted about her day at work and the pleasure she got from seeing the glow only a bride could show. Tanya just nodded at the appropriate times, not really caring what came out of her mouth. Once Alice was finished, Rosalie talked about her day filled with bridezillas and annoyingly happy girls. Bella talked about her busy day in the kitchen, and the tiresome customers.

"So Tanya, how has work been for you so far?" Rosalie wondered, only slightly interested. Tanya nervously looked around, not knowing what to say – she obviously couldn't tell the truth. Luckily, the waitress came and interrupted their conversation to get their order. Once the waitress was gone, they all looked at Tanya expectantly, waiting for her reply. Tanya couldn't say that she had skipped work to break into her future home.

She gave them a winning smile when saying, "It was great, but my boss is such a scatter brain though, which makes it hard." Tanya truly did hate her boss: Tyler Crowley.

"Yea, I feel for you. I hate my boss," Alice stated, wrinkling her small nose. Alice and Rosalie worked in a very popular wedding business known as _Dream Providers. _It was a top ranked business and they were well known for their excellence.

"I am my own boss so, in your faces!" Bella said as she laughed.

"I bet your employees talk shit about you all the time," Rosalie said, snickering.

Bella shrugged and took a small sip of her coke. "It's definitely possible."

Rosalie started talking about how she had met an ex boyfriend of hers at the super market, which led to a conversation about all of their exes.

Alice looked at Tanya and noticed that she wasn't joining in on their conversation, but what she didn't understand was that Tanya didn't want to be a part of it. "Tanya, do you have any exes you would like to share?" Alice asked politely, giving her the option to answer or not.

"I was married once, but he died shortly after." Tanya's eyes went blank, her tone ending further discussion on the topic.

Conversation quickly changed to gossip, and the latest fashion trends. During their dinner, Tanya couldn't help but look intently at Bella. Bella wasn't completely unfortunate looking, but nowhere near the beauty of Tanya. Tanya didn't like Bella or her personality. Although Bella was crude, she was easily liked – many admired her for her determination and strong will. The more Tanya got to know her, and see how she reacted to people and how they reacted to her, the more Tanya saw her as dangerous.

"Bella do you have any feelings for Edward besides friendship?" Tanya asked abruptly, her fists clenched as she waited for Bella to reply. The table went silent, nothing but the sounds of the restaurant filling the tense air. Bella looked at Tanya with anger; she was incredulous that she would ask such a question, especially in front of her friends.

"No Tanya," Bella answered simply, not willing to go further, but Tanya was unconvinced. There was just something in her brown eyes that Tanya didn't like. There was a spark that came to life whenever Edward's name was mentioned – Tanya wanted it gone.

Lunch went by quickly after that, for the girls shoved the food down their throats so that they could leave sooner. Rosalie was the first to leave, giving Bella and Alice firm hugs and giving Tanya a warning glare. Alice left shortly after, giving Bella a hug, and giving a wary smile to Tanya.

Now there were only two.

"What the hell was that about?" Bella questioned, wanting an explanation.

Tanya glared at Bella, her hatred for her finally showing. "I don't like you or your connection to Edward. Get this through your head, Bella. Edward is mine, so back off. He doesn't want you nor, will he ever. I'll make sure of it."

"What makes you think I'm interested in him in the first place? I have a boyfriend you crazy bitch. Edward is just my friend, so don't go asking stupid questions that don't deserve a fucking answer." Tanya growled at her words. Edward would never belong to Bella; Tanya would rather die than let that happen. Edward belonged to Tanya; he was her possession, her trophy.

"You better watch yourself Bella Swan." Tanya stood up and flipped her strawberry blonde hair.

Bella stood up as well and grabbed her purse and jacket, while staring Tanya down. "You can't do shit to me, Tanya, you're just an insecure little girl. Something tells me you're not right in the head; something is seriously wrong with you." Bella walked away without looking back at a fuming Tanya.

8~*~8

**Bella (POV)**

I was home by myself. Again. I decided to clean the kitchen, since I had gotten it all messy from trying out new dishes for my restaurant. I wanted to add more variety to my menu, so I was experimenting with different things. The food either tasted fucking disgusting or was just too basic and everyday.

I was in the middle of mopping the floor when I realized I really had to pee. I sprinted to the bathroom just in time to relieve my bladder. I had finished the toilet paper, so I opened the cabinet that was under the sink to get another roll. When I grabbed it, I noticed my box of tampons.

Then a thought hit me. I walked slowly to my bedroom, with my hand on my back since it ached from cleaning. I walked up to my calendar that was hanging on my wall, and gasped.

**Edward (POV)**

"Hey Jacob!" I called. He stopped in the middle of the hospital hallway and waited for me to catch up. We had always been good friends, but since he had starting dating Bella I had been more careful around him. I had been watching to see if he messed up or flirted with any other girl like he used to when he was single. Jacob was a known charmer and a big flirt, and he never failed to get a girl to like him. He had been faithful so far, and just his simple friendly self around the females, but that didn't mean girls stopped liking him.

"Hey Edward, what's cracking?"

We continued to walk down the hallway as we chatted about our day. "So how is it with you and Bella?"

His eyes found mine as he smiled widely. "Dude, I owe you so much for introducing me to her. I see this relationship going places, you know?"

"That's good Jacob. I'm glad both of you are happy." We then parted ways to go to work again, and finish our day. When work was over, I put my things away and left the hospital and walked to my car. My phone rang when I was several feet away from my Volvo. "Hello?" I answered.

"Edward! I need you to do me a big favor!" Bella told me frantically. I rushed to my car, unlocked the door, got inside, and started it. I put on my Bluetooth so I could talk to her while driving.

"What is it Bella?"

I heard her take a deep breath before she replied, "I need you to get me a pregnancy test." My eyes widened as I almost swerved into another vehicle.

"I need to get you a what?"

She huffed in annoyance and screamed, "A pregnancy test, Edward! A stupid motherfucking pregnancy test. My period is late and I didn't even fucking notice."

_Shit._

"Okay, I'll get it for you. Bella… is it Jacob's?" I knew Jacob would take care of Bella and his baby. Jacob wouldn't abandon her, and even if he did, she had me.

I heard her start to sob as she took deep breaths, trying, unsuccessfully, to calm herself down. A minute went by and she still hadn't said anything, causing me to worry. "Edward, Jake and I haven't had sex yet." Her voice was shaky, fear and anxiety lacing her tone.

"But then who…" Then it clicked. The last person she slept with was James Henderson.

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**Don't hurt me!**

**I'm going to admit that I really enjoyed writing Tanya's POV**

**It was fun cause she's so crazy**

**Question for my readers - Have you ever dated someone weird? Crazy even?**

**Please review!**


	8. Chapter 8 Strange thoughts

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**Thank you so much for reading and for leaving lovely reviews. It all makes me so happy.**

**So here you find out whether Bella is pregnant or not, and also another development.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight...FML**

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**Edward (POV)**

Taking deep breaths, I tried my best to calm Bella down over the phone, but comforting words could only do so much. When I arrived at the store, I rushed out of my car and towards the automatic doors.

"It's okay, Bella. I'll be there soon," I promised. She let out a sob before hanging up on me. As I searched for the pregnancy tests, I worried about what all of this would do to Bella. Bella was still young; she had so many things she wanted to do that would only be pushed to the back burner because of a child. I knew babies were precious, they were something to be treasured, but at the right time in a person's life – when they were ready. Bella wasn't ready, far from it.

When I found the aisle that held the pregnancy tests, I was caught off guard by how many there were. So many brands to chose from and so many different types; my mind was reeling. I grabbed one that said something about words instead of plus signs and bolted to the nearest cash register. Ignoring the elderly woman's stare, I paid and quickly left.

I cut off cars, rushed through yellow lights, and risked getting into several accidents. When I arrived home safely, I considered it a blessing.

As soon as I opened the door, Bella rushed into my arms, tears falling from her eyes. "It's going to be okay, Bella. We'll get through this together," I vowed. I would always be there for her, just like I knew she would be there for me. "Come on, let's get this done." I led her to the bathroom and handed her the box.

Leaving the room to give her privacy, I wondered how that pregnancy test could affect all our lives. Bella's life would be completely altered, irrevocably changed. The child would only have Bella as a mother, never knowing that the father was a complete douche. I highly doubted Bella would let that baby anywhere near James, which was what I would want, too. If Bella did have a baby, the kid would deserve a better father than James.

I stood nervously outside the bathroom waiting for Bella to open the door and announce the news that would either bring relief or apprehension. The door slowly opened to reveal Bella's hand blindly searching for mine. I gave it to her gladly as she pulled me into the bathroom. She held my hand tightly as she stared at the pregnancy test with fear in her eyes. "How long do we have to wait?" I asked.

"It said six to seven minutes," Bella answered. After what seemed like an eternity, the seven minutes were up. "Edward, can you check for me? I can't do it," Bella whispered. I nodded, and with my left hand still held tightly by hers, I grabbed the pregnancy test with my right and read what it said.

"Bella…you're going to be a mom."

She gasped, her hands covering her gaping mouth. "Really, are you serious?" I nodded and showed her the test to confirm it. "Edward, what am I going to do? I never planned on having children until I was married and a little older. I'm not ready for this! The baby won't have a father and I – I – just can't handle this by myself." She collapsed to the floor before I could get to her. I pulled her limp body into my arms, cradling her.

She looked at me through tear-filled eyes. "Bella, you won't be alone. I can be the child's father. I can take care of the both of you! You are not alone, Bella, you'll never be alone, not while I'm around." I meant my words with everything in me. I would raise this child as if it were my own.

We could be a family.

8~*~8

"Edward! Edward! Where are you?" Bella called from somewhere inside our condo.

I walked out of my closet and towards the hall to look for Bella. "I'm here!" I yelled. She came running towards me with the biggest smile on her face. I welcomed the smile with one of my own. I hadn't seen her smile since she found out she was pregnant. "Why are you so happy?" I asked while we hugged. She let go of me to offer me another beautiful smile, then, out of nowhere, she squealed – in true Alice fashion.

"Edward, I'm not pregnant!"

My eyes widened as my mind processed her words. "Wait – what?"

"My eggo isn't preggo!"

I grabbed her shoulders and forced her to look me in the eye. "How do you know? The test said you're pregnant."

Bella shook her head, her smile growing. "I went to my doctor and got another test there. I got the test results, and I'm not pregnant! Edward, I'm not going to have James' kid! The test we took was a false positive!" Bella squealed and bounced around the entire condo, screaming at the top of her lungs.

I wanted to be happy, a part of me was, but a part of me felt a strange sense of loss. I felt the loss of a child that never existed, and never would. I had everything in my head; Bella and I would have been a family with a child to raise as our own. If it was a boy I would have taught him how to throw a ball, how to treat a lady, and how to love. If it was a girl I would have locked her away so that no boy could ever get the chance to break her heart. Everything would have been perfect and happy, but now it was gone.

"Edward, isn't this great?" Bella asked me, her face glowing with happiness.

I swallowed the lump in my throat and answered in the happiest voice I could muster. "Yea, it's really great."

8~*~8

**Bella (POV)**

Jacob and I walked down the street towards his apartment, hand in hand. His large warm hand wrapped around my small one, giving me a feeling of safety. Everything had been going so great between us, but being my paranoid self, I believed that something bad was on the horizon – waiting to catch me off guard. Jacob meant so much to me now, to the point where I needed him in my life. I craved his presence. I never thought that I would need anyone in my life, well, besides Edward.

Edward had helped me so much, especially with the whole almost pregnant thing, which by the way freaked me the hell out.

I knew I wasn't ready for a kid, not even damn close, nor did I want one. When I had a baby I wanted to be married with a big house, white picket fence, and all that other shit. I especially wanted my child to have a father – a good one.

James wouldn't have been a good father.

When I saw the word positive on that pregnancy test, I was scared and so unsure of the future. I never wanted to feel that fear again. What helped me through it all was Edward, my rock. He helped me through it all, with his sweet words and promises. When he told me we could be a family, where he would take on the role as the father, well, it showed me something. It showed me how much he cared for me, how he would be willing to help me in any situation, big or small. I was so blessed to have someone like that in my life.

"This is me," Jacob announced happily. But seriously, when was he ever unhappy? I looked up to see a large crème colored building with black trimming and large glass windows. I nodded in approval. The place was really nice and gave you the feeling of home. Just like Jacob.

Smiling, I told him, "This is really nice, Jake!"

"Thanks, I was so worried you wouldn't like it," he admitted.

My eyebrows furrowed in confusion as I stared at his sheepish smile. "Why would my opinion matter?"

He kicked at an invisible rock, avoiding my gaze. "Well, I plan on you being here a lot." I blushed at his words, making him smile. I loved it when he smiled. Using his key, Jacob took us inside and we took the elevator to his floor. Jacob opened the door and let me explore his apartment. His apartment was spacious, the walls were painted with bright yellows and deep blues, and the furniture was all black.

"Your place is the shit," I told him honestly.

He wrapped his arms around me from behind and whispered in my ear, "I'm glad you like it. Do you want to see my couch?" I chuckled, but my chuckle turned into a yelp when Jacob threw me over his shoulder to carry me to the couch. He gently dropped me on the couch and got on top of me. He supported his weight so he wasn't crushing me with his buff body, but made it so I could feel his warmth.

Jacob was always warm; he was my personal sun.

I held his face in both my hands, my eyes exploring his handsome face. Jacob's face was a sight to behold with his dark brown eyes, brilliant white teeth, and strong facial features. Jacob was hot and he fucking knew it, smug bastard. I brought our faces so close together that our lips met with a feather like touch. Jacob groaned with impatience, making me chuckle. With a smile, my lips met his softly, a moan escaping both of our mouths at the contact. Jacob's kisses had given me what I always wanted – feeling and emotion. Emotion was something that was always missing when I touched or kissed someone, but Jacob gave me that. He showed me what it felt like to have a connection with someone who was more than a friend, and it was amazing.

I brought my hand from his hair to hold onto his neck, to bring him closer against me. As our kiss grew more passionate, so did our need for each other. I felt Jacob's arousal when I accidentally rubbed against it, making him hiss in pleasure. Our tongues met as I explored his hot mouth, savoring his taste. I knew if we kept this going we wouldn't be able to control ourselves.

"Jake, we need to stop," I told him, panting.

He pouted. "Why?"

"Because I'm on my period, meaning no sex." When I got my period I was so unbelievably happy. My period meant that I wasn't pregnant; my nightmare really was just that – a nightmare. I never, in my life, thought I would be happy to see my period, but the day came.

"I don't mind." He raised his eyebrows suggestively.

I laughed and pushed him off me. "Ha-ha… no."

He pouted again and got off me. Jacob smiled as he reached for my hand and pulled me up. "Fine, but now I have to make you dinner with a hard on." He looked at me and then to his obvious arousal, causing me to laugh.

"That sucks for you, doesn't it?" I smiled while he scowled.

"Hey," Jacob said softly. His face was serious yet a small smile remained. "I think I'm falling in love with you."

"Hey," I repeated, "I think I'm falling in love with you, too."

8~*~8

**Edward (POV)**

"Edward, wake up please!" Bella pleaded from on top of me. I opened my eyes to see Bella straddling me with a stunning smile on her face. I wouldn't mind waking up like this more often. "Oh good, you're awake. Guess what?"

I blinked a few times to clear my vision. Offering a sleepy smile, I asked, "What?"

"Jacob and I… we're falling in love," Bella announced. "Isn't that great? Me of all people!" She kissed my cheek and got off me, leaving me cold. She ran out of my room with a bounce in her step and a spark in her eyes.

My mind drifted to unwanted places when she left. I pictured Bella marrying Jacob, having kids with him, and growing old with him. I didn't like any of these thoughts. Bella was supposed to be my number one; I was supposed to be hers. Jacob was going to get in the way of that, he was going to ruin us. I felt it; I was losing Bella to him.

There was something about my thoughts that were so strange. Did friends think this way about each other? Did friends feel this way about their relationships? I didn't think so, so then what did that mean about me? I never had a problem with Bella's other flings, but that was because they were just flings – nothing threatening. Jacob… Jacob was more than a fling. I could see it in her eyes that she cared for him deeply – it scared me. So did that mean I cared for Bella as more than a friend? No, it couldn't be that. Could it?

I went back to sleep with the same thought running over and over in my head.

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_Bella is my girl._

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So who is happy that Bella isn't pregnant? Although it would have been quite a twist, I just couldn't do it. Bella having James baby? Ew.

Who noticed the change in Edward's thoughts?

That's why I added the whole pregnancy scare in the first place.

**My answer to last weeks question:**

I have dated a weirdo. One night, when I was over at his place, I got a headache so I looked in a drawer in his nightstand to look for some advil. Instead I found a red velvet, heart-shaped box (I know, I know, I was nosey). So I picked it up and opened it. I didn't know what was inside so I asked him. It turns out that a few months before, he had cut some of my hair ( I don't know how I didn't notice a chunk of my hair was missing) and put it in a zip-lock bag. He then took it home, burned it and put the remains in the heart-shaped box. He said he did it so he could always have a piece of me with him.

**This weeks question:** Have you ever had a pregnancy scare?


	9. Chapter 9 The Article

**First of all, I would like to apologize for being such an epic fail when it comes to answering reviews. I promise to improve! So, I'm pretty sure I updated faster...well compared to last time.**

**HUGE thanks to all of you who read and review.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight...FML**

**So I'm pretty sure you all think Tanya is crazy and I'm sure your suspicious as to what she's up to or what she's capable of. Well, those suspicions are going to get a lot bigger.**

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****Bella (POV)**

I walked inside our condo carrying the much needed groceries. Who knew two people could eat so damn much? We were such fat asses. "Edward, I'm home, please help!" Edward walked from wherever he was and helped with the bags. "Thanks," I said, walking into the kitchen. I dropped the bags on the island and sighed in relief when the weight from the bags no longer burdened my arms.

Man, I needed to work out more.

"No, thank _you_ for getting the food. Shit, isn't it my turn?" Edward asked while looking through the bags of food.

I gave him my famous bitch look and nodded. "Yes it was. Thank you _so much_ for remembering," I told him sarcastically.

Edward gave me a sheepish smile before helping me put away the food. "Sorry, I've just had a lot on my mind."

"Eh, it's fine." Edward and I worked together to place all the food where it belonged, and soon we were done and I was left to make dinner. Shocker. "Why can't you ever make the food?" I asked as I turned on the stove.

Edward smiled while answering. "Why should I bother cooking when I have a professional in my own kitchen? You not cooking would be such a waste, don't you think?"

I huffed in response and continued to cook, feigning anger. Truthfully, I liked cooking for Edward; I got a weird sense of pride knowing that I could cook way better than Tanya. After I finished making spaghetti with my homemade sauce, I had Edward put in a movie so we could watch it while we ate. I set up our plates and added a little salad on the side. When I was satisfied with what I had made, I grabbed the plates and headed into the living room. When Edward saw me, he stood from his seat, walked over to me, and grabbed the plates from my hands and walked back to the couch.

"Thank you," I said. "I don't want to be your cook _and _your waitress," I joked. I really didn't mind though. I liked taking care of Edward; it just gave me this strange, happy feeling.

"Oh please. You love taking care of me," Edward said, reading my mind. I shook my head, smiling, and sat down. He handed me my plate and then took a bite out of his spaghetti.

"This is absolutely delicious, Bella," Edward complimented with his mouth full.

"Of course it is; I made it," I said with a large smile. Edward laughed as he shook his head. He turned on the television and pressed play with the remote, automatically turning on the DVD player. "What are we watching tonight?" I asked.

He swallowed the food he was chewing and smiled. "We're watching The Phantom of the Opera."

I looked at him with wide eyes. "Yes! I haven't seen this movie in forever."

He shrugged. "I know it's one of your favorites."

I poked him in his side, making him squirm. "Thanks for this, you know, for being here. Ever since you got with Tanya and I got with Jake, we haven't spent much time together. I missed you, Edward," I admitted.

"I missed you too, Bella, so much. We really need to spend more time with each other. Surprisingly, we barely talk, and we live together!"

"I know, right?" We laughed and continued to eat as the movie played. Once we were finished, I grabbed his plate along with mine and took them to the sink. _I'll wash them later_, I thought. I walked back into the living room and returned to my seat. The movie was far from over, so I made myself comfortable as I watched the screen. Then I remembered something that had been bugging me. "Edward, does Tanya act weird around you? Does she, you know, behave strangely?"

Edward visibly tensed. "What do you mean?"

"Does she act crazy around you?"

"Bella, my girlfriend does not act crazy okay, just drop it," Edward spat. I shrugged and continued to watch the movie. I badly wanted to tell him about what happened during lunch with Tanya, how I thought she was seriously fucked up in the head, but how could I do that to Edward? Edward seemed to really care for this girl. I mean, he had been with her for a while now. Besides, if I told him all my theories and thoughts, would he even believe me?

"Okay, whatever you say," I whispered.

I needed to investigate, but I would need some help from someone who had way too much time on their hands.

8~*~8

I sat at a table that was located in the far corner, waiting impatiently for Alice and Rose. Currently, I was at Starbucks with three coffees, which made me look like some kind of coffee addict. I continued to grow more aggravated every minute they weren't here. Finally, after what seemed like hours, when it was really only like three minutes, Alice and Rosalie showed up.

"Hey, girl," Alice greeted, giving me a hug. She sat down and put her purse on the table, smiling in thanks when I handed her one of the cups of coffee.

Rosalie hugged me as well. "Hey, slut." She sat down next to Alice and grabbed a cup of coffee, assuming it was hers.

"Sup, bitch." I smirked. Rosalie and I had always greeted each other like that. Alice didn't like to because she got hurt easy.

Alice took a sip of her coffee and asked, "So why did you ask us to come today?"

"Can't a girl ask her best friends to come join her for some coffee? Jebus, can't I just enjoy your company?"

Rosalie rolled her eyes. "Cut the crap, why are we here?"

"Okay, okay. We're here to discuss a certain person – Tanya. How do you guys feel about her?"

Alice shivered slightly. "She gives me the creeps."

"Yeah, something about her doesn't feel right," Rosalie said, nodding. Okay, so I knew I wasn't the only one who felt like Tanya had a few missing bolts in that pretty little head of hers. Then I remembered something from when Tanya had lunch with us.

"Rosalie, you have lots of free time, right?" Rosalie nodded. "Can you do me a favor?" Even though Rosalie had a job working with Alice in her wedding planner business, she always had way too much time to spare, because Alice pretty much did everything. Rosalie liked her job, but she didn't feel useful. She didn't feel like she contributed much. Alice tried her best to include her in anything and everything, but Alice just didn't need that much help.

Rosalie narrowed her eyes, looking at me questionably. "It depends on what it is," she answered.

"I want you to find out anything you can about Tanya, including her dead husband. I want to know how he died and when. The way she talked about it seemed weird to me," I told them, pursing my lips. When Tanya first talked about her dead husband, something went off in my head, making me suspicious.

Alice looked at us incredulously, as if we had lost our minds. "Of course she was weird about the subject! She was sad about the loss of her husband, which is completely understandable. Wouldn't you be devastated about losing the one you love? She's Edward's girlfriend, you guys, and Edward is a pretty good judge of character. I admit, Tanya freaks me out a bit, but aren't you going a little too far?"

Rosalie and I looked at each other and at the same we said, "Nah."

Alice cracked a smile. "You guys amaze me. Fine, do your detective stuff, but you will only waste your time. I'm sure Tanya is just a normal girl with a normal past. Well, I'm off. Tell me if you find anything, but I doubt you will." She left, leaving Rosalie and I to plot.

"Okay, I find it weird that Miss Looney lost her husband. Besides, when we talked about it that day she didn't seem too heartbroken. I mean, if she were a normal person I would feel bad, but my gut is telling me something is up," Rosalie told me, sipping her coffee.

I nodded in agreement. "Your gut has never been wrong before," I added. It has always been hard for Rosalie to like people, and it took a lot to gain her trust, but she was worth the effort. Rosalie was a great friend. You could trust her with your life.

She grabbed her purse and held it tightly after she drank the remains of her coffee. "Okay, so I'll go home and do some research. I'll look into anything fishy."

"Fishy?"I laughed.

"Fuck you," she said, chuckling, before leaving.

8~*~8

"Bella, can I come in?" Edward asked, knocking on my door. I told him he could enter my domain, so he let himself in. He shifted from foot to foot while I sat in my bed waiting for Rosalie to give me an update on her findings. I was getting impatient waiting for Rose to find something interesting. She had sent me numerous texts saying that she couldn't find shit.

"So…" I said awkwardly. Why was he here if he wasn't going to say anything? Minutes, years, could have gone by before he said anything. I didn't have the time for that. "If you're not going to say anything, then I'm leaving," I said, standing up and stretching.

"No! Just wait okay. I just wanted to say I'm sorry for snapping at you."

"Hey, no problem, I was getting on your nerves. I would have done a lot worse if I was in your shoes. I probably would have cussed you out," I told him.

"Yeah, you would have. So we're all good?" he asked with a raised eyebrow.

"We're all good." I smiled.

"You know how we talked about not spending much time together?" I nodded. "Well, I was wondering if we could make Sundays all about us, you know. Sunday could be our day!" I agreed happily and hugged him. We really did need just a day to ourselves.

We talked a little more, but then Edward had to rush out, saying that he got called into the hospital.

I walked back to my bed, annoyed that Rosalie was taking so long. I knew I should be more patient, but I just wanted to know what I was dealing with when it came to Tanya. Reading a magazine, I rested on my bed and waited for Rosalie to call me. Thirty minutes later my phone rang. "What you got?" I asked immediately, not wanting to waste time.

"Well hello to you too, bitch. Anyway, I got some interesting stuff about our nut. Bella, I think you're on to something about Tanya being weird. Here, I'll send you the article, check your email. The whole thing screams 'suspicious.'" She hung up, not bothering to say goodbye. Excited, I rushed to my laptop on my desk and opened it up. Turning it on, I wondered what Rose could have found.

Looking through my email, I saw the one sent from Rose. I nervously clicked on it, unaware of what I was going to find.

The email opened up to this.

_**MR. RUBEN TURNER'S VEHICLE FOUND, BUT STILL NO BODY**_

_Mr. Turner's disappearance has baffled everyone in the town of Worth Share. Mr. Turner was reported missing by his wife, Mrs. Tanya Turner, when Mr. Turner didn't return home from work. According to witnesses, Mr. and Mrs. Turner, married two months before he went missing, were as happy as could be._

_How devastating it must be for Mrs. Turner to lose her husband so soon in such a tragic way. _

_Three days went by without a word from Mr. Turner or his whereabouts, causing the police to work harder on the investigation. The police questioned Mr. Turner's employer, Mr. Roslyn, who told them that Ruben Turner quit his job two days before he was reported missing, which raised suspicion. The police questioned his only living relative, his mother, Martha Turner. His mother had no information to give._

_Weeks later, Mr. Turner's vehicle was discovered in the town lake, producing the idea of a possible suicide or murder. The car offered hope on discovering his whereabouts, or at least, the peace of mind of having his body. Neither was found. The car was striped clean and contained nothing on where he could possibly be. _

_After a month without any leads, the police believe Ruben Turner to be dead. Martha Turner believes she lost her only son, and Mrs. Turner has come to believe that she is now a widow. _

_So what do you think? Is there any way that Ruben Turner is still alive, or is that too much to hope for?_

I gasped, reading the article over again. Tanya's husband didn't just die, he disappeared.

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*dramatic music* Very little of you - out of those who reviewed - noticed the whole "my husband died" comment made by Tanya and were curious/suspicious of it. Also, sorry if the "article" didn't sound so much like an article.

**My answer for last's time question: **I've never had a pregnancy scare. Well, I did when I was younger. But I don't really count it because when I got scared it was because my period was really late, and I thought it was because I was pregnant. Which made no sense because I was a virgin at the time. As you can see I was a genius back then. (I did know that sex was a requirement, but I thought I was one of those people who somehow miraculously got pregnant. I was a very paranoid child.)

**This times question: **Have you ever had romantic feelings for someone you shouldn't have had those feelings for?

**A review from you would be so amazing :)**


	10. Chapter 10 Loved in return

**So I've been all kinds of epic fail, but I do have a reason . . . or an excuse if that's how you want to look at it. I spent most of my time in the hospital. Even Christmas, which was all kinds of suck. I had some kind of infection that got pretty bad (well, my problem had a bigger name, but the doctor had to dumb it down for me). So when I was all healed and stuff I spent my time getting my life, and my job back on track.**

**I really hope I never take this long again *crosses fingers that life will be nice* **

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight . . . FML**

**I also want to thank Project Team Beta for correcting my damn comma problems. **

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****Edward (POV)**

Dressed in casual jeans and a T-shirt, I knocked on Bella's door. I heard shuffling and the sounds of something snapping.

_What's that about? _

Bella opened the door, breathless. A chuckle escaped me when I noticed what she was wearing. "We match," I pointed out, motioning to her blue shirt and jeans and my blue shirt and jeans.

"Ugh, should I change?" I shook my head no and told her we could be one of those couples we made fun of. "But it's not funny because we're not a couple. Let me just change my shirt." She rushed back into her room and closed the door. Minutes later, she came out of her room wearing a red V-neck shirt.

"Come on, let's go. It's Sunday, meaning us time."

"Where are we going exactly?" Bella asked when we were in my car.

"I was thinking we could get some Subway, and have a little picnic at the park," I suggested. She said that it sounded like a good idea so off we went. We got our sandwiches and grabbed our sodas, laughing at jokes and stories we told each other. Once we made it to the park we walked around until we found a picnic table in the shade. The sun shined, the birds sang, and the cool air was refreshing against my face – overall it was a perfect day.

"It's a beautiful day, isn't it?" Bella asked, voicing my thoughts.

"Yes it is, just for us." I smiled at her.

She held out her hand. "Give me my sub, please. I'm starving." I took the food out of the bag and placed them on the table. I handed over her food and unwrapped mine.

"Did you know one of my waitresses lit a customer on fire?" she said randomly.

I nearly choked on my food. "What?"

Bella laughed at my expression. "Yup. It would have been the funniest thing I have ever seen if it wasn't so scary at the time. You see, it was the guy's birthday, meaning he gets a free cake. So the waitress – her name is Cindy – goes to get his cake, with candles and the whole shebang, and takes it to the table. Right before she places it on the table her heel brakes, making her stumble. She leans toward the guy and the fire on the candles catch on to the sleeve of his shirt, and everyone freaks out! So the guy is freaking out and then the table cloth catches on fire! He was trying to take off his shirt, but he was so panicky that he couldn't work the buttons. No one was doing anything – well anything useful – so I had to stop myself from losing my cool and do something. I grabbed a pitcher of water and just poured the water on him. In total, it took three pitchers of water to stop the fire. It was crazy. His face wasn't burned and neither was his upper arm, but his lower arm was slightly burned. His shirt couldn't' be saved, and neither could the table cloth."

I grimaced at the mental picture. "So did he press chargers or sue you? I mean, no offense, but that's what I would do."

Bella looked at me through narrowed eyes. "Remind me to never catch you on fire at my restaurant. Thanks to all that is holy because he did not press charges. Cindy felt really bad, though. She visited him at the hospital and told him that we were going to pay for the hospital bill. He accepted and then said that if she wanted to make it up to him she could go on a date with him. She agreed and they've gone out on, like, five dates since. So anything cool or interesting that happened to you while at work?"

"Well –"

"Wait! Nothing sad or traumatic, because that kills the happy mood we're going for here."

I laughed, shaking my head, but I agreed with her. Things that happened at the hospital were intense, and often heart breaking. I doubted Bella wanted to hear any of those stories; it was bad enough I had to watch them unfold, let alone be a part of them.

After a minute of thought, I remembered the perfect story to tell; I even started laughing as the memories filled my head. "Okay, I got a good one. Actually I wasn't even working that day. I was just there to fill out paperwork. So anyway, this guy came in, and he was a total wreck. He was crying, and waving his hands in the air. He was screaming like crazy, too. A lot of people got scared, thinking that there was some kind of danger going on, but really this guy was just freaking out because he tasted some perfume."

"Fucking gross," Bella said, wrinkling her nose in distaste. "Who would _taste_ theirperfume?"

"They asked him how and why, but instead of answering he just shrugged, as if he didn't know."

She looked at me in confusion. "How come you guys asked him questions? I mean, shouldn't you have dealt with his problem first, and then asked him what happened?"

I shook my head. "The thing is perfume isn't exactly lethal. Perfume is just alcohol and water, and some oils to make it smell nice. Actually, alcoholics drink perfume when they're desperate. So they didn't have to treat him for anything. And they only asked because they were curious. After a couple of minutes of interrogation, from other members of the staff, he cracked."

Bella leaned closer to me in anticipation, her sweet scent filling my nostrils, making my heart beat faster for some unknown reason. "Okay, so what happened? What'd he say?" she asked impatiently, her deep brown eyes penetrating mine.

I laughed slightly when I remembered the blush on the guy's face when he told us what happened. "It turns out that the guy hadn't been with a girl in a couple of years, making him pretty lonely and in desperate need of some physical contact."

Bella groaned.

"So he, out of a moment of weakness, sprayed perfume on his arm – so it could smell like a girl – and then proceeded to make out with his arm. After a couple of minutes of his hot make out session, he freaked out because he thought he would die from tasting the perfume."

She laughed. "I can't believe he made out with his arm!" exclaimed Bella. "If I ever get that desperate, shoot me, okay?"

I shook my head no.

"And why not?" she asked with her eyebrow raised.

"I wouldn't have the heart to kill you, Bella. It's simple as that," I said, shrugging.

"Aw, well aren't you sweet. Gag me," she said while sticking her finger playfully in her mouth. I smiled as I gently punched her in the arm. "Is that all you got, Edward? You are so screwed if you ever get into a fight."

"Oh, I am more than able to take care of myself."

She looked at me skeptically, but didn't say anything more on the subject.

"Come on, let's lay down on the grass," I suggested, getting up from my seat. Bella did the same and followed me to the spot on the ground that offered the perfect amount of shade. We rested on our backs, but instead of looking at the sky, we looked at each other, which, to me, was a much better view. Bella's beautiful face wasn't marred with worry lines, or an expression of anger, but instead her face was the picture of relaxation and calm. The wrinkles on her face were her laugh lines, and if you asked me they just accented her magnificence. Bella's chocolate eyes found my green ones, causing me to get lost in her meaningful gaze. The wind caused several lumps of hair to fall in front of her face, ruining my view. Lifting my arm, I gently raised my hand to her face, and then I removed the hair by putting it behind her ear. Unknowingly, by taking the hair out of her face, I had moved closer, to the point where I could practically feel her against me. Bella looked down, noticed our close proximity, lifted her eyes back to mine, and that was it.

She didn't say anything or ask me to scoot away – nothing.

Since our bodies were nearly touching each other, so were our faces. My eyes, that somehow managed to remove themselves from Bella's gaze, glanced at her plump and inviting lips which were practically begging for mine. Well, that's what I hoped. Licking my lips, I did the one thing I had never done in all the years I had known her. I kissed her. The kiss was slow and soft, for I was merely testing the waters, but I also just wanted to enjoy the feel of her lips against mine. Her lips were divine; so soft and sweet, they were made for kissing, among other things…

When Bella didn't push me away or yell at me, I deepened the kiss.

Bella eventually broke the kiss, and looked at me with eyes filled with confusion. "Well that was…"

_Amazing? Mind-blowing? Breath taking?_

"… weird," she finished.

With my heart in my stomach, I said, "Yea, it was."

She nodded, and returned to lying on her back so she could look at the sky above us.

We didn't look each other in the eyes the rest of the day, and we didn't discuss the kiss either.

8~*~8

**Bella (POV)**

"Thanks for the awesome day, Edward. We really fucking needed it – the whole bonding thing."

"Yea, we did. Hey I got a call from Emmett, apparently there's a guy's night so I'm off." I nodded and hugged him. Edward left shortly after and I just went to my room.

I was in my room for a total of two minutes when I felt suffocated by its walls. So I went to the kitchen, the one place where I could relax and think about things.

Realizing I needed junk food, I got out the burger patties, several spices, cheese, and hamburger buns. After I prepared everything, I grabbed a pan, put it on the stove, and turned it on so it could heat.

_What was that kiss about? I mean, did he plan it or did it just happen? If he did plan it, then what the hell! Does he want me as more than a friend? No, that couldn't possibly be it. But if it was, could I, could we, risk our friendship? If it isn't that then why did we kiss?_

I placed two burger patties on the pan and they immediately started to sizzle.

_The kiss must have been an accident. I mean we were so close, of course something like that will happen. So does that mean things are going to be awkward now? I really hope not, but maybe if I just act like nothing happened then things will go back to normal! Besides, the kiss didn't mean anything. I mean, sure, the kiss was absolutely amazing. It was probably the best kiss of my fucking life – no, don't think like that Bella! _

I placed the cheese on the cooked patties so that the cheese would melt.

_The kiss didn't mean anything, nothing at all._

With a spatula, I took the patties out of the pan and onto the waiting hamburger buns. I added all the rest of my ingredients and afterwards I took my finished product into the living room and ate my burger there.

_The kiss didn't mean anything, and I will treat it as such._

**Edward (POV)**

I walked into the semi-crowded bar, looking for Emmett and Jasper. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Emmett waving his hands in the air. I shook my head and laughed as I made my way over to them. They were sitting in a booth, with their beers in front of them, but one beer sat on the edge of the table. I guessed that it was for me. I sat next to Jasper with Emmett sitting directly in front of me.

"Hey guys," I greeted while taking a large gulp from my beer.

Jasper eyed me suspiciously as I continued to drink my beer.

Emmett eyed me as well. "Whoa there, Edward, slow down. Bad day?" he asked.

I shook my head. "No, it wasn't entirely bad."

Emmett nodded, and then said, "Problems at work?"

I shook my head.

Jasper said, "Girl troubles?"

I nodded.

"I knew it!" Emmett exclaimed.

"No, you didn't," Jasper said, taking a slow sip from his beer, which unlike mine was still mostly full.

"So Edward, does this have to do with your hot girlfriend Tanya? Rosalie doesn't like her, you know. But I gotta tell ya that she kind of freaks me out, too. I mean, she's sweet, but too much. She's so sweet it seems kind of fake. Am I the only one that got that vibe?"

Jasper looked at me sheepishly. "Yeah, I got that vibe too, but you know we could just be full of it, and not know what we're talking about. You spend more time with her than we do, so you're the one who really knows what she's like."

Wanting to change the subject, I told them, "The problem is not Tanya. It's Bella."

They looked at me wide eyed. They obviously weren't expecting the problem to be about her. "You guys have another fight?" asked Jasper.

"I wish," I stated. "A fight I can handle, but not what happened today."

"Stop leaving us in suspense damn it! And we need more beer!" Emmett hollered, making a waitress bring us another round of beer in what seemed like seconds. "So tells us already! You had sex with her didn't you! I knew it was going to happen sooner or later! Fuck, was it good?"

I wanted to hit him. "No, we didn't have sex, doofus. But we did kiss."

"Wow," Jasper muttered.

"I know, right? I didn't plan it, I swear. It just… happened."

"So you're worried that it's going to fuck up your friendship," Emmett stated.

"No, not really, but sort of – it's complicated. I'm more worried about the fact that I liked it, and that I want to do it over and over again. You guys, I think I might like Bella as more than a friend," I admitted softly.

There was nothing but silence coming from them, leaving only the sounds of the bar to fill the air, making me nervous.

Emmett was the first to break the silence. His face held a big grin. "Finally! It is about damn time, Eddie. I thought you would never get your head out of your ass."

Jasper nodded and patted my back while I stared at them, dumbfounded.

"What are you guys talking about?" I asked.

"Face It, Edward," said Jasper. "You've liked Bella that way for a long time; you just never saw it like that. Maybe it's because you have been friends with her for so long, or maybe because it's too complicated for you to handle, so you just pushed it back, but you for sure like her in a more-than-friends way."

"Seriously, dude. Even in college I knew you liked her, as gay as it sounds, it was in your eyes. You look at her the way I look at my Rosie and the way Jasper looks at Alice."

I thought for a moment. Did I like Bella… that way? I thought back to the days in elementary school when I wouldn't like it if Bella played with other boys, so I told her that they had cooties but that I didn't. Then in high school, when I purposely touched and held Bella in front of her boyfriends to make them jealous. Then in college when Bella started sleeping around; I couldn't stand it, I would make her spend time with me so she wouldn't have the time to go out. Then I thought about now, when I regretted introducing Jacob to Bella because he was taking her away from me, and because I was afraid that I wouldn't be Bella's number one anymore.

_I do like Bella, hell, I may even love her. _

"Shit," I whispered. "Fuck! Fuck!" I screamed as I hit the table with my fists repeatedly. Jasper put his hand on my shoulder as he told me to calm down, but I couldn't, not when everything was so wrong. "You don't get it! I can never be with her! She's with Jacob now, and I'm with Tanya. Bella doesn't even like me that way. You know what she said after I kissed her? She said it was weird!"

Jasper and Emmett didn't respond because they didn't know what to say to that. We sat in silence the rest of the night, just drinking and thinking as I wallowed in my misery.

I finally got what I wanted; someone to love, but that didn't mean I could have her. I couldn't make her mine when I was with someone else and she belonged to another.

_Be careful what you wish for, because you might just get it . . ._

I had wished to fall in love, but that didn't mean I would be loved back.

* * *

**Poor Edward. That's why you don't hook up your friends together! **

**So what do you think? Bad? Good? Do you want to hurt me for lagging it?**

**I hope I hear from you and that I hopefully said thank you to all who reviewed the last chapter**

**My answer: I once had feelings for my friend's boyfriend. I was young, he was cute, so ya. Instant crush. My friend, being the awesome person she was, told me that it was okay and that she understood. Besides, it wasn't like I tried to steal him away or anything.**

**Today's question: What's your favorite color?**


	11. Chapter 11 The Warning

**Hello lovely readers! *waves***

**This didn't take long, did it? I'm sorta getting into the groove of things. I'm hoping to update at least once every two weeks**

**Thank you for your amazing reviews. You have no idea how happy they make me and how inspiring they are :)**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight. . . FML**

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****Edward (POV)**

I had hoped that when I found the one I loved, life would get easier. That was not the case. I felt horrible, confused, and so alone. I didn't understand how I could have loved Bella all these years and not have known. How was that possible? What I assumed were feelings of friendship were really of love. Now all those weird feelings made sense; I could identify them now.

I was so angry at myself for introducing Bella to Jacob – they were so happy together, it was sickening. Due to my loneliness, I clung to Tanya, making her very happy. I didn't like staying at home anymore; whether it was to an empty home or one where Bella was there, happily moving around, blissfully unaware of my newfound feelings for her.

To my dismay, Tanya was all I had, even though it mentally and physically pained me to be with her. Mentally because I didn't love her, and physically because it was like my body knew she wasn't the one I should be with.

It was all so maddening.

I was getting ready for another day of work when I heard a knock at my already opened door. I turned my head to see Bella, standing with her arms crossed and her mile-long legs spread far apart; it was her angry stance.

I gulped.

"What the hell, Edward? I know for a fucking fact that you're avoiding me. You've even gone to the point that you're skipping our Sunday bonding days! Is Tanya so important that I get pushed back? What happened? I used to be a major part of your life." Bella's face turned from angry to glum during her rant, her voice going softer and softer as the words came out of her mouth.

I was left speechless because I could not tell her the real reason I was ignoring her. The only option I had was to lie. I sighed as I tried to think of a lie that would sound reasonable, believable. None came to mind.

"Well?" Bella muttered impatiently.

_Think of something!_

"I, uh, I've been ignoring you because, well, I want to practice." The words sounded stupid even to my ears. Bella looked at me quizzically, possibly wondering if I went crazy over night.

_Who knows, maybe I have._

"Practice?" she questioned slowly. I could tell by her annoyed expression that she didn't believe my lie, meaning I had to lie better.

"I've just been thinking lately that we're not going to be together forever – you're going to go your way, and I'm going to go mine. Eventually we aren't going to live together, so we won't spend as much time together." Internally, I flinched at my words because I knew they were true. I continued. "So I thought that maybe I should practice not being around you, so when the time comes, I will sort of be used to not having you around."

Bella shook her head; the sadness in her eyes showed me she was not pleased. In fast, large strides, Bella walked up to me, and then she hugged me tightly. I enjoyed the feel of her body against mine, but I shouldn't have. Pushing those thoughts aside, I hugged her to me, pulling her firmly against my body – where she belonged. I pressed my cheek on her head, my skin feeling the silk of her hair.

I never wanted this to end.

"You're an idiot," she murmured against my chest. I didn't bother asking why; I knew I was an idiot. "You don't need to practice being away from me. Fuck, I'm going to be around you even when we're both married, and even when we both have snot-nosed babies. I wouldn't be surprised if we lived next door to each other. Wouldn't it be great if our kids were best friends?"

"It would be great," I whispered.

"So no more practicing, alright? Fucker, you scared me," Bella admitted as she removed herself from my embrace.

I so badly wanted to tell her that I loved her, but I couldn't do that to her. It wouldn't be fair to put her in that position because I already knew that she didn't love me. Telling her how I felt would only lead to heartbreak. I didn't think I could handle that.

"Well, I have to go to work," I said, looking at my watch.

Bella nodded, a small smile on her face. "Just so you know, I'm taking you to lunch today. Don't even try to get out of it because you owe me some fucking quality time, bastard. You really hurt my feelings, Edward. That isn't cool."

"Fine, I'll let you take me to lunch." I smiled because, although spending time with her would just assure me of my feelings for her, I had missed her. Even before my realization, Bella was my everything. I didn't know how I was going to handle watching her live her life when I would only be a minor part of it. Her future husband and children would become her everything, and I would be left in the dust, watching her live the life I so badly wanted to share with her.

Bella laughed, the sound bringing a wider smile to my lips. "When I said I was taking you to lunch, I meant I was picking you up and taking you somewhere, but you're paying!"

"Fine." I chuckled.

We said our goodbyes and left for work.

8~*~8

"Hey, Edward," Jacob greeted, being his annoyingly happy self. He just stood there, in my office, completely unaware of the anguish he brought to my life.

"Hello, Jacob," I replied in a bored tone. I wasn't going to pretend I liked him. Sure, once upon a time I really did enjoy his company, but that was before he started dating my girl.

"So, man, what's up? How's your love life?" he asked. It was obvious that he wasn't there for business reasons, which would have been the only way I could have handled talking to him. It was like he secretly knew I loved Bella, and he wanted to toy with my emotions, to flaunt that he had her and I didn't.

"It's fine," I answered simply, not wanting to give him the satisfaction of knowing that my love life was a complete and utter wreck.

He looked at me incredulously. "Your love life is just _fine_? What's the deal there?"

I was getting more and more annoyed by his presence with every word that came out of his mouth. "It's nothing really. I don't want to talk about it, to tell you the truth." I hoped that would stop the questions. I doubted that he would take it well if he knew I was in love with his girlfriend.

He nodded, and his face showed he understood that we weren't close enough to be discussing personal things like that. At least on my end, but Jacob had no problem talking about his personal issues.

"I need to tell you something, because I need your advice. My friends would just make fun of me or tell me to stop being such a chicken shit."

"Go on," I said, my voice showing that I wasn't interested in the slightest, but of course that didn't deter him.

"I'm in love with Bella! Whoa, it feels good to finally say it." I stared at him in shock. My mind raced with horrible thoughts and my heart felt like it was going to jump out of my chest. Bella had told me that they were falling in love, but here comes Jacob, suddenly happy as could be, saying that he was fully in love. Did Bella love Jacob the way he loved her? If she did, I might have lost her sooner than I thought. Soon they would move in together, he would propose, she'd say yes, and they'd get married, have children, and grow old together. He would live the life I could only dream of.

"Why do you need advice?" I whispered for I was still in shock.

"I need help on deciding how to tell her. I mean, do I do it out of the blue, or do I say it in a romantic setting, or should I do it after we kiss, or-"

"I don't know, Jacob. Do it when you feel it's best," I muttered angrily.

"Oh, I know!" He stood up abruptly, a wide smile firmly on his face, somehow not noticing my furious expression. "Thanks man. I'll talk to you later." He left the room a happy man, but I was definitely not happy.

I clenched my fist, shut my eyes tightly, and I tried to calm my breathing while simultaneously trying to hold back the bile that threatened to come up my throat. I didn't know why my heart continued to beat since it was in so much pain, but it kept me alive.

8~*~8

"Hey, Edward. How has your day been?" Bella questioned when I got into her car.

"Fine," I answered as she drove to an unknown location.

"You've been saying that word a lot lately," she observed. It was true though; I just didn't feel like saying I'd had a great day because I hadn't. My day had been horrendous. "Jacob told me you're having a bad day."

So he had noticed everything. Then why would he ignore it and then tattletale on me later? My dislike for him grew, but I tried not to let it show when I spoke of him. "Oh, I'm sure Jacob just misunderstood me. Work has been getting pretty stressful lately, and things with Tanya aren't so great either."

"Getting sick of her?" Bella laughed, but her voice was shaky, and her hands tightened on the steering wheel.

"Yea, it's just not going to work out." We got to the restaurant, a small-diner like place, and we got out of the car and walked inside. We were immediately seated since there weren't too many people, and once we sat down, I continued to talk about my relationship problems.

"In a way, I knew from the beginning it wasn't going to last, but I had badly wanted to make it last. I'm getting old, Bella. I'm running out of time. But I'm breaking up with her, I'm just not sure how – she doesn't act the way other girls do."

"How does she act?" she asked after we gave our orders to the waitress.

"To put it simply, she overreacts."

She nodded, but I could tell she wanted to say something. When she felt confident enough, she said, "There is something you need to know about Tanya, she – "

She was interrupted by the waitress bringing our Cokes. When the waitress left, I encouraged Bella to finish what she was saying.

"Oh, never mind. It's not important . . . you _are_ dumping her, right?"

I nodded. "I plan on it."

She sighed in relief, and then we talked about casual subjects until our food arrived. In the middle of the meal, I blurted out, "Did you tell Jacob about the kiss?"

Bella looked at me, eyes wide and lips slightly parted. Then her eyes closed tightly as she slowly shook her head. "No, and I don't plan to."

"Why?"

"Edward, we both know it was a mistake. It could have seriously ruined the friendship we have – something I never want to lose. After the kiss I decided that I would treat it like it never happened. Besides, what good would it do if I told Jake? He would probably freak out and then that would affect the friendship you guys have. I just . . . I just don't see why I should tell him."

"Are you in love with Jacob?" I don't know why I asked, or why it was still in my mind, but in a way I was glad I did – I had to know.

Bella looked at me curiously, wondering why I asked such a question so abruptly. After the initial shock wore off, she sighed and looked out the window next to our table. We stayed silent for a couple of minutes, and I wondered if Bella was bothered by me asking such a thing. I couldn't tell if her silence was a confirmation of her love for him or a denial.

"I don't love him," she muttered, causing relief to run through me. The sadness in her voice, however caused all the good feelings in me to disperse. It was then that I saw how selfish I was being. Bella was my best friend. I should have wanted her to be happy, and I did, but since I was selfish, I wanted her to be happy with me.

"Why not?" She looked at me then, and I nearly gasped at the sight of so many conflicting emotions in her deep brown eyes.

"That's the thing – I don't know why! I want to love him, and it's not that I don't trust him, but I just can't seem to give him my heart . . . well, at least not all of it. I don't understand why, though. Loving Jake would be so easy. He is everything I could ever want, but it's like there is a brick wall that I can't get through. I just wish I knew what that obstacle was so I could get over it."

"What if Jacob told you he loved you?" I asked, using what I had learned earlier to see how she would react.

Bella visibly paled. "While I would be so happy, I would also be devastated because I wouldn't be able to say it back. I won't lie to him, because it would just hurt more if he found out my feelings weren't genuine."

She was right of course, and I couldn't help but feel bad for Jacob. I understood how it felt to love Bella and have her not love you back. It was a painful emotion that no amount of words could truly describe.

Both of us desperately wanted to move on to lighter subjects, so we did. The rest of our lunch was filled with laughter and smiles; there was no more talk of love or Jacob. Not a lot of time had passed before Bella was dropping me off at work. We said our goodbyes and she drove off, leaving me wondering how everything was going to work out.

**Bella (POV)**

I was glad that Edward and I had had lunch together, it's just that I didn't expect for us to reach such deep subjects. I didn't want to talk about my inability to love Jacob; I wanted to fucking forget about it, but no – my mind refused to dismiss it. When Edward asked me if I loved Jake, every bad feeling I had about it crashed onto my body like a wave. I was painfully aware of my dilemma – what girl would have problems falling in love with Jacob? For whatever reason, I just couldn't. I wanted to, God how I wanted to, but something was stopping me. Everything would be so much easier if I knew what it was.

But I didn't want to dwell on it. I parked in my reserved spot and I walked into my restaurant.

Taking out my phone, I called Rosalie.

"What do you want?" she asked, hostility coating her words. Rosalie was nice when she wanted to be, and she was a great friend, but sometimes her bitchy ways got irritating. I wasn't one to talk since I wasn't the nicest person either, but what the hell?

"What's up your ass?"

I heard her sigh before she said, "Alice is driving me crazy! She just won't stop!"

I opened the door to my office and stepped inside. "She won't stop what?" I asked as I placed my purse on my desk. I sat down and turned on my computer; I had paperwork and emails that I needed to tend to. Rosalie began to tell me how they had just gotten this big shot client, who could also bring a lot of other big shots to their business, so Alice was doing everything in her power to make sure their wedding was perfect. The amount of work they were doing for a single case was driving Rosalie insane.

"And we're totally neglecting our other clients!" she screamed in frustration. Alice tended to put a hundred and ten percent when it came to her job. Sometimes Rose could keep up and sometimes she couldn't. I would have loved for Rosalie to work for me, but honestly, the girl couldn't cook to save her life. If it weren't for take-out, Emmett would have died of starvation.

"I agree with you, Rose. One client shouldn't be more important than the others, no matter how much more money she has."

"That's exactly what I told her! But you know what she said? She said, 'I'm not treating her better, I'm just putting more effort into her wedding.' Can you believe that?"

"Want me to talk to her?" I suggested, sensing that Alice needed some sense knocked into her.

Rosalie sighed in relief. "Please! Maybe she'll listen to you."

I laughed. "Okay, oh! Before I forget, we can drop the whole Tanya thing."

"Why?" Rosalie asked, slightly annoyed. When I asked her to do research on Tanya, she went all out. I now knew Tanya's grades in all her years in school, that she didn't finish college (for unknown reasons), that she had been married once, and that her husband had disappeared.

"Edward's dumping her! Isn't that great?"

All I heard was silence on the other end of the line. I looked at my phone to make sure that we hadn't been disconnected, but it showed that she was still on. I said her name several times, but she never responded.

I was going to hang up when she said, "You, Alice, and I need to talk tonight. We'll come before you close up." With that, she hung up, leaving me speechless.

8~*~8

The place was deserted when I got the text message from Alice saying they were at the restaurant. All my employees were gone, and so were any customers. I made sure to lock up everything except the front door, so when it was time to leave, I would be able to depart quickly.

For some fucking reason, Rosalie and Alice always had me open the door for them, even when it was clearly unlocked. I swear they were such spoiled princesses. I rolled my eyes, because they would just wear that title proudly instead of being offended.

"I told you guys the door was open," I said, letting them in.

"I like watching your aggravated face when you open the door," Alice said happily, being her usual upbeat self.

"Yeah, well one of these days, I'm not going to open the door and I will leave your asses out here to freeze." I led them to the only table that still had the chairs down, and then we sat down and got comfortable.

"Where's the wine, Bella?" Rosalie asked, looking at the empty table with disdain.

"Oh fuck, I forgot. Hold on," I told them as I rushed to my office where I had set down the wine after I picked it out. Walking back to the table, I could clearly hear Rose and Alice arguing about something that was probably stupid. They fought about the most stupid shit sometimes.

"Would you guys shut up, please?" I shouted, aggravated.

"Well, we wouldn't be fighting if Rosalie wasn't such a snot," Alice said, crossing her arms as she jerked her head to the side to avoid Rose's glare.

"Oh, I'm the snot now? Bella, we discussed this! Talk to her!" Rosalie demanded, her fist hitting the table to get Alice's attention. As soon as I opened my mouth, Alice glared at me, challenging me to say anything to her. I could take her on, so I wasn't worried.

"From what I heard, I think that you need to slow down and spend some time on your other clients and other work duties." I looked at Alice when I said this. "I know that this person could bring a lot of money and business for you, but you can't neglect everyone else. How would you feel if you hired someone to do something but they half-assed it because someone with more money asked them to do something? You'd be pissed, and you'd tell them off! Listen, I don't know about the whole wedding planning business, but think about what you're doing because your job affects a lot of people."

Alice sighed and nodded, clearly ashamed of her actions.

"What happened to the girl who wanted to make other people's dreams come true, huh? Where is the girl who wanted to make sure that every girl she worked for got her dream wedding?"

"She's right here," Alice said quietly. Rosalie sat next to her with a smug smile on her face, but I quickly kicked her under the table.

"Ow!"

"And you, Rose, you need to suck it up and do your job. I know that you might not care about other people's dreams, but getting married is a big part of someone's life and they need your help to make sure things run smoothly. Can you do that?"

"Yes," she said glumly.

"Okay, so that's that, now let's move on to why we're here."

Alice rolled her eyes; it was obvious she didn't agree with us when it came to Tanya, but she was here, listening to our theories and offering her comments and thoughts. I appreciated it.

"Bella, Tanya is seriously bad news. Bitch is crazy," Rose said.

Alice shook her head. "No she's not, Rose. Sure, she's a little rough around the edges and kind of creepy, but she seems nice."

"Exactly, she _seems _nice," I said, smirking at her. "Fess up, Alice. You don't trust her either." Rose and I waited for her to admit it, because we could tell she didn't like Tanya as much as she would like to.

"She's…she's…I don't like her! You happy?" Alice shouted, quickly grabbing one of the wine glasses I had put on the table. She drank her wine and pouted, angry that she'd admitted that Tanya bugged her too. Alice liked to be the voice of reason when it came to our theories, and even though we wrong sometimes, sometimes we were right, just like now.

"Finally. But Bella, I'm worried," Rose admitted, drinking from her own wine glass. Feeling left out, I grabbed my glass and filled it up, taking a drink shortly after.

"Worried about what? Edward is dumping her, meaning there's nothing to fear." I shrugged, seeing no problem.

"Bella, haven't you seen a scary movie?" Rose asked, looking at me like I was the biggest idiot she'd ever seen. I was about to give her a piece of my mind when Alice spoke up.

"Where are you going with this, Rosalie? Edward is breaking up with her, doesn't that solve our problem?" Rosalie rolled her eyes and huffed in annoyance. She thought we were both idiots who didn't get her superior mind.

"Why don't you guys see the issue? Ugh, in every movie, what happens when the guy breaks up with the girl? A psycho girl to be exact?"

"She cracks and goes after him . . . Oh my gosh! I get it now!" Alice shouted, but I was still clueless. Apparently it showed on my face, because they both looked at each other with smirks on their faces.

"Okay, let's say this slowly, Rose." Rose nodded, smiling as she waited for Alice to speak again. "Tanya, as you say, is crazy, yes?" I nodded, still not getting it.

"Well what do you think is going to happen when Edward breaks up with her, knowing what kind of person she is?" I thought about it, and then I gasped as realization hit me. Once Edward broke up with Tanya, she would go even more bat-shit than she already was. Fuck, what if she did something to him?

"I think she finally got it." Alice smiled.

"Shit, guys, but what can we do? I don't want them together, but by the looks of things, it's not safe to have them apart." Things had gotten complicated. I knew, deep inside me, that something was off about Tanya, but I didn't know how much was wrong with her. Was she just a bitch who loved my best friend or was she a girl who was seriously fucked up in the head? A bitch I could handle, but someone insane? I wasn't so sure.

Alice took another sip of her wine, her facial expression turning stern as she thought. Rosalie was the same way and soon we were all thinking.

I didn't trust Tanya, I didn't like her, and I especially didn't want her around. She did a good job acting like she was perfect, like there wasn't something sinister going on in that pretty little head of hers, but I saw through it – she showed me that she wasn't what she seemed. I wasn't sure if she was dangerous, but I got this bad feeling every time she was around; my instincts didn't like her so why should I?

Edward was so important to me, I'd be damned if I would let strawberry shortcake mess with him or hurt him in any shape or form. I deeply regretted giving Edward my approval. I was his best friend, and I had to protect him, but look what I'd done. I practically granted him permission to date danger. Something in me told me that Tanya wouldn't have cared if I didn't give him permission, but I did make it easier for her – easier for her to get her hands on Edward. I would always regret that.

"Who knows, "Alice said, "maybe we're just overreacting. I know for a fact that Tanya will get upset, but I doubt she'd do anything besides tell him off or slap him." Alice was trying to assure us, to give us security, and let us think that there was no possibility something would happen to Edward. But it was hard to believe her when my gut told me to watch out.

Rosalie looked hesitant to speak, but after she sighed, she asked, "What if he disappears like Tanya's ex husband?" My heart felt like it had been ripped out.

"Don't you dare say things like that!" I screamed, my breath coming out in pants. I couldn't lose Edward; he was my world, and he was what kept me grounded.

"Bella…" Alice tried to say, but I shut her up when I held up my hand.

"I can't lose him; I fucking won't! Fuck Tanya, she'd have to go through me! She'd have to kill me before she even came close to harming him!" I didn't know why I felt so angry, so scared. Edward was my best friend, so of course I would feel protective of him, but my feelings were too strong and too powerful. Did friends feel this way about each other?

Of course I felt this way because of friendship, what other reason was there? A thought crossed my mind, but I didn't dare think too much about it; it was a dangerous thought, one that could change everything I thought I knew about my relationship with Edward.

After a while, I calmed down, and soon after I was being embraced by Rose and Alice. They didn't question my breakdown, and I was very grateful, but I noticed them exchange knowing glances, like they knew something I was oblivious to.

"Sorry about that," I said, wiping away my tears. I suddenly felt embarrassed by my breakdown – I didn't like anyone seeing me cry or be weak.

"I'm glad you let it out," Alice told me, patting me on the shoulder.

We talked some more, and we all decided that we would wait for Edward to dump Tanya and we'd see if we had to worry about her reaction. When Alice asked Rosalie to stop looking into Tanya's past, Rosalie refused. She told us that she felt she was onto something, and she wouldn't rest until she discovered more about her. "Know your enemy," she had said.

When I had locked the front door and my office, I went and hugged Rosalie goodbye, and then she got into Alice's Porsche. When I hugged Alice, I noticed she trembled in my arms, but her arms were wrapped tightly around me.

"What's wrong?" I asked, worried that my breakdown was causing her to break down, too.

"Just be careful, Bella. I don't know why, but I'm just so worried about you. Take care of yourself." That was all she said before she got into her car and drove off, leaving me in the parking lot.

I could feel it; several things were going to happen, things that would threaten to tear my world apart.

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**SOOOO what do you think?**

**I would love to hear from you**

**Last week's: My favorite color is green!. . . and blue. . . and black.**

**This week's: What is your favorite food?**


	12. Chapter 12 Over or is it?

**Hello all! **

**I want to thank you all for reading, and for the amazing reviews that keep me going. I'm sorry I'm epic fail about responding to them, but I will try harder. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight...FML**

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**Edward (POV)**

I was standing in front of Tanya's apartment, preparing to once and for all break up with her. I wouldn't fail this time, I couldn't. I just couldn't deal with her anymore. I wasn't strong enough to handle her jealousy, her anger, her constant breakdowns, and the fact that I was always on constant alert in her presence. Yet a part of me didn't want to let her go. Tanya was a good distraction from all the heartache I had been feeling, and when I was around her, I didn't feel so alone. I felt like someone wanted me.

But the bad outweighed the good.

With my decision made, I knocked on her door and took a deep breath. Tanya opened the door and smiled when she saw it was me. That smile wasn't going to be on her face for long.

I walked inside her apartment as Tanya went to the couch and sat down, patting the seat next to her. My mind said it would be better if I sat down, but my feet wouldn't move. I tried wording everything in my head, thinking of ways to break things off without hurting her too badly, but I knew that it was useless – anything I said would result in a breakdown.

"So what are you doing here, honey? It's not like I don't want you here, but you usually call." I could tell by the look on her face and the tone of her voice that she suspected why I was here. She was on to me, meaning I needed to hurry the hell up.

"We need to talk," I said. She nodded, a large smile forming on her face. All of a sudden she stood up and threw her arms around me, pulling me into a tight embrace.

"I knew you felt it too!" she exclaimed, hugging me tighter.

_What is she talking about?_

"Felt what?"

"Don't worry, Edward. I love you too."

"Tanya," I said, shocked. "I'm not here to tell you I love you. I'm here to tell you that I want to break up."

She released me from the confines of her arms, giving us the space we needed for this type of conversation. Her blue eyes held defiance and anger, showing that she was going to fight back. But this time so was I.

"We're not breaking up," she said, her voice firm.

"Yes we are, and I'm so sorry that this is hurting you, but there's only so much I can take." I stood there, waiting for the crying and begging, but it never came. Tanya's face held anger, but that was understandable. There was no sign of an upcoming breakdown. I didn't know whether to be happy or worried.

"There's someone else, isn't there?" she asked, her voice harsh.

"No," I answered.

Tanya's eyes narrowed as she took a step in my direction, so I prepared for the anger, sobs, or even getting slapped, but Tanya didn't do anything. She closed her eyes, and her tense body relaxed. When she opened her eyes, she sighed and gave me a grim, heartbroken look.

"Go," she ordered softly, motioning toward the door.

"What?" I asked, stunned. Tanya closed her eyes again – to calm herself, I suppose.

"Leave my apartment," she commanded, her voice a little louder than before.

I nodded, understanding that she didn't want to see me right now, so I walked slowly toward the door. I gave her one last parting glance, seeing her standing there, not having the heart to watch me leave. With a sigh, I stepped out and closed the door.

I walked out of her apartment building, wary of what just happened. I was so prepared for a tantrum of some kind but not this. She acted like any other girl would react to a breakup, but Tanya was not like any other girl.

I tried to be happy because I no longer had to deal with her. I was free, but now what? I had a problem – a cliché one – but a problem nonetheless.

I was in love with my best friend.

I saw no solution; I briefly thought about what it would be like if I lived my whole life never telling her how I felt and always thinking about what could have been. Then there was another way I could live my life. I could tell her I loved her, have her turn me down, our friendship would be no more, and I would never have her in my life.

Either way, I would get hurt.

8~*~8

**Bella (POV)**

"So did you do the deed?" I asked impatiently as soon as Edward came through the door. Edward chuckled slightly, running his right hand through his copper hair.

"Yeah," he told me, putting his keys on the hook.

"How did she take it?" I wondered, worried that she freaked the fuck out. He gave me a weird look, his eyes holding an emotion I couldn't decipher.

"Why do you care?" he asked me. His tone wasn't harsh like his question suggested.

"'Cause I want to know, alright? Now tell me, please. I'm dying here," I pleaded.

"She took it rather well," he admitted, sounding surprised by this fact.

"Really?" So maybe Tanya wasn't so crazy. This was a good thing. Now I didn't have to worry about her doing something wacko. I could relax.

"Yeah, she acted like any girl would." This kind of worried me.

"Did she hit you?" I asked him. Hitting him seemed like something she would do.

Edward laughed. "No, but I thought she was going to."

"This means we should celebrate! I'll call everyone and we'll meet at Emmy's." I grabbed my phone and started dialing Emmett's number.

Edward smiled his crooked smile – my favorite smile – and shook his head. "Since when does being single mean we have to celebrate?"

I raised my eyebrow at him. "When you break up with a girl like Tanya, there's hell of a lot to celebrate."

8~*~8

"To Edward!" Emmett cheered as we all held our beers in the air. We clanked our bottles together before taking a drink. "To dumping the demon!" Emmett said, raising his bottle again, encouraging us to do the same.

"To dumping the demon!" we all said in unison, laughing.

"So now that you dumped her, does that mean we can talk shit about her?" Emmett asked, smiling as Edward rolled his eyes.

"No, you can't. Did you guys really not like her that much?" Edward questioned, his eyes looking all around the table.

"Couldn't stand her or her fucking voice," Rosalie said, shuddering.

"She scared the shit out of me, dude," Emmett admitted.

"Something about her . . . it just wasn't right," Jasper told us, putting his arm around Alice. "I mean, she didn't exactly do anything, other than be annoying, but she gave off this bad vibe."

"She wasn't too bad," Alice said, causing Rosalie and I to roll our eyes.

"I didn't like anything about her," I said, taking a small sip from my beer.

"Then why the hell did you give Edward permission to date her?" Emmett asked me.

"She'd made him happy." Edward and I stared at one another for a long time until my phone started ringing. "Sorry guys, I have to take this." I left the table and walked outside.

"Hey Bella! Watcha doing?" Jacob said when I answered the phone.

"I'm with the gang." I smiled; listening to his voice made me feel warm and comforted. Jacob was like sunshine. I knew it sounded kind of dumb, but that was the best way I could describe him. So sue me.

"Damn, well okay. I'll see you later," he said, getting ready to hang up.

"Wait! Do you want to come over here? We're at Emmy's." I waited for him to answer, hoping that he could come. He hadn't been introduced to everybody. Only Edward knew him, and I wanted Jacob to know all my friends. Jacob was important to me, so it made sense that he would know the other important people in my life.

"I want to, I really want to, but then I would be intruding. Have fun with your friends. I'll see you soon."

"Hold on," I requested.

"Sure, sure." I could almost see his smile when he said that. I ran back inside the bar, dodged the drunks, and when I made it to the table I got everybody's attention.

"Can Jake come?" I asked all my friends.

"Yeah! I haven't met the dude yet, so tell him to get his ass over here!" Emmett hollered, obviously a little drunk.

Rosalie and Alice nodded in agreement as Jasper laughed at Emmett, who was now making two beer bottles rub together as he made moaning noises.

"Seriously Bella, you've been with Jake for a while now, and we still haven't met him," Alice said, not pleased.

I looked at Jasper, wanting to know if he was okay with the extra company. "Bring 'em over," he said with a smile.

Assuming that Edward wouldn't mind Jacob coming, I ran back outside, and put my phone back to my ear. "You still there?" I asked.

I smiled when he said, "Now why would I hang up on you, beautiful?" I blushed at his words, and I had to control myself from giggling like some young school girl.

"Compliments will get you everywhere, Jake," I informed with a smile.

"Hmm, even your bed?" Jake joked, his voice slightly husky.

I smirked. "Maybe . . . maybe not."

Jake groaned into the phone. "You're going to kill me, woman. So why did you leave me hanging?"

"I want you to come over here and hang with us," I told him. I heard him about to object, so I shushed him. "Everyone wants you here. You're my boyfriend and I want my friends to be your friends."

It was a while before he spoke, so I thought he hung up, but his voice took away my worries. "Thanks, Bella, you have no idea how much that means to me. I'm on my way. I love you."

Jacob didn't know that every time he said those words a sharp pain shot through my heart and rippled down my body, hurting me in ways that I never thought possible. It wasn't fair that I couldn't say those three words, especially to a guy like Jacob who deserved to be loved, but I just couldn't. I couldn't find it in me to lie either and say I loved him, because those words were sacred.

"I'll see you soon then," I whispered, hoping that he wouldn't catch the pain in my voice.

But Jacob being Jacob, heard. "Bella, you know it's okay that you don't love me. I say those words because that's how I feel about you and because I want you to know. I don't say them just because I want you to say them back."

His words were like a soothing balm to the pain I was feeling. It calmed the pulsing agony, but it didn't completely take it away. "I know, Jake, I know. Thank you. Now get your ass down here," I ordered, a smile making its way onto my face.

Jacob laughed. The sound comforted me, giving me hope that maybe one day I could love him. "I'm on my way, Bells."

Maybe one day I could give my heart to Jacob black.

8~*~8

"Wow Bella, this is Jake?" Rosalie asked as Jacob sat down at our table. He was in between me and Emmett.

"Yup," I answered proudly.

Rosalie nodded, taking a small sip of the martini she just ordered. "I approve," she announced.

"Already? You don't know me," Jacob said.

"With a face like yours and a body like that, I don't need to know your personality," Rosalie explained, taking another sip from her martini. Everyone laughed . . . well except Edward and Emmett.

When the laughter died down, Alice asked, "So Jacob, you're a doctor right?"

Jacob smiled. "Yes I am, tiny one." Emmett let out a loud laugh while the rest of us tried to be more discreet with our laughter. Alice pouted, but there was amusement in her eyes.

"Oh man." Emmett chuckled. "I like you already." Emmett's face turned serious, but the amusement never faded from his eyes. "So Jacob, what are your intentions with our Bella, hmm?"

I groaned, but Jacob wasn't even fazed. He grabbed my hand and held it with both of his. "Bella is very important to me, and I want you all to know that. I know that I'm a lucky dude to be with Bella, and I want to treat her the way she deserves to be treated. She deserves the world, and I'll be damned if I don't try to give it to her."

Fuck, I felt my eyes water a little bit.

"I so approve!" Alice shouted, looking like she wanted to cry, too. What was up with people saying they approve? It wasn't like I needed it.

The rest of the night was spent with everyone getting to know Jacob, and just like I was, they were under his spell. I think Emmett was close to getting down on one knee and proposing to him. It wasn't until we were all about to leave that I noticed how wasted Edward was. I was so busy with Jacob I didn't even notice him drinking.

"Whoa there, buddy," Emmett said when Edward stumbled his way out of the bar.

"I'm" – Edward hiccupped – "fine."

Emmett chuckled as he threw Edward's left arm around his shoulder and supported his weight. "Yeah, and I'm ugly," Emmett muttered sarcastically.

"Just put him in the car, Em. Edward gave me a ride here, so I'll just drive his car back," I said, rubbing my forehead. Emmett carried Edward to his car, even though Edward protested loudly the whole time, and then seated him in the passenger seat.

"Are you sure you can handle him, Bella?" Emmett asked, looking at Edward's drunken form.

"Shit, you're right."

Jacob faked a cough to get our attention. "How about I go with them – I'm more than capable of handling Edward – and stay at Bella's?"

"You can't," I stated.

"Why not?" Jacob questioned, looking a little hurt.

"It's just that Edward and I have these rules . . ." My voice drifted off as I avoided his gaze.

"I'll just go," Emmett volunteered. "Rosalie will just drive behind us, and when I get Edward in his bed, I'll leave with Rose."

"Okay," I agreed.

8~*~8

After what felt like hours later, Emmett got Edward in bed. It was much harder than we thought it would be. Edward kicked and screamed the whole fucking time, and he tried several times to punch Emmett in the balls. I expected him to be pissed and leave, but he just laughed at Edward's behavior. He risked his manhood to help me out, and I was very thankful.

Emmett left after saying goodbye, leaving me to tuck Edward in. I kissed him on the forehead, and I was about to leave when Edward grabbed my arm and pulled me to him. He buried his face in my stomach.

"Whoa there," I muttered, unwrapping his arms and gently placing him back on his bed. Edward looked up at me, his green eyes filled with so much sadness, it nearly had me sobbing.

"You're so important to me, Bella," he slurred, grabbing my hand with both of his. "You're my e-everything," he whispered, hiccupping slightly toward the end.

"You're important to me, too," I murmured, caressing his face, hoping to soothe him into a deep sleep.

"I…I lo –" He cut himself off.

"What's wrong, Edward?"

He shook his head frantically. "Bella, I lo –"

I shushed him and told him to get some sleep. He nodded, and before closing his eyes, he gave me another heartbreaking look. I didn't know why he was so sad, but I knew I couldn't ask him when he was wasted.

I left the room after he fell asleep, wishing that I would never have to see those green eyes so miserable again.

**Tanya (POV)**

He was gone. Edward left me, and I had let him. I was going to cry, I was going to beg, but it all seemed so useless. The determination in his eyes tore me apart. He really wanted nothing to do with me.

Me!

I was his everything! I loved him; I still did. Yet he did this to me, to us!

_No._

_He loves me. Yes, he loves me_

Of course he did. This was all a misunderstanding. My Edward was just confused. Yes, that was it. That bitch was messing with his mind. That fucking Bella always ruined everything.

But he will come back.

I'll make him come back.

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Hmmm, so what do you think?

My answer: I love pizza. We are soul mates.

Question: If you could go anywhere in the world, where would you go?


	13. Chapter 13 Brake failure

**Hello! I'm sorry for the epic fail when it comes to posting. First, my uncle died :( I miss him terribly. Then I found out my boyfriend has been cheating on me for two years (that is how long we've been together) with a girl I once considered a close friend. I found out he was cheating on me with her because he told me he was going to propose to her, and he then continued to show me the ring he got her.**

**I'm passed the sad stage. You know the crying, the depression, the I'm-never-leaving-my-bed stage. Now I'm just pissed. So if I ever see either of them again . . . well, let's just say they're going to walk away (or limp away) with some mighty fine bruises.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight. . . FML**

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**Rosalie (POV)**

Bella said to let it go, to stop researching, but I knew that I was on to something. Edward broke up with the loon, but that didn't mean we had seen that last of her. Besides, how could I let go of the fact that her husband disappeared? Sure, that shit happens, I get it, but it all seemed . . . off to me. Hell, the fact that the loon got someone to marry her in the first place was weird.

I had two theories that, to me, seemed possible. My first theory was that she killed him. He might have pissed her off, or maybe she was PMS'ing and just felt like killing him. She seemed coo-coo enough to do that.

My second theory was that he disappeared on purpose – to get away from her. I mean, a body was never found. What if he realized too late that she was loco? What if the only way to be free from her was to just vanish?

I was leaning towards the first theory, but I still wasn't sure. I mean, I didn't even know where to start looking for a missing person. Google was great, but it could only get you so far. Besides, if the police couldn't find him, what made me think I could? I was in the damn wedding planner business, after all.

Gah. All of these questions and theories were really pissing me off but intriguing me at the same time.

I absolutely had to figure out this fucking mystery.

**Jacob (POV)**

Bella didn't love me, and in a way I was okay with that. I didn't mean to pressure her or make her feel bad by telling her those three special words. I only wanted to show her the strength of my feelings. I wanted her to know that I cared for her and that I always wanted to be part of her life.

Yet, there was a part of me, a rather large part, which questioned why. Why couldn't she love me? I thought of myself as a good person, a person worthy of being loved. Did she not see me that way?

Man, I wanted to talk to her about it, but what if that made things worse? I never had trouble with women, but I was no whore either. I was no longer at the age where meaningless sex was acceptable.

I wanted intimacy.

I wanted let's-grow-old-together love.

With every day, I grew more and more hopeless. But I had to stay strong; I had to be patient. But how long could I wait, and was Bella the girl who could give me the love I craved?

**Bella (POV)**

I had been having the worst week. First, my car broke down in the middle of the road. Smoke was coming out of the fucking engine! It scared the crap out of me, so I had to call Jacob and ask him if he could fix it or tell me a good place to take it to. Jacob ended up taking a look at it, and told me that he could handle it.

The next day, I went for a walk, and grabbed a cup of coffee. Then someone who was running at full speed knocked into me, spilling my very hot coffee all over me. Luckily it was a cold day so I was wearing a lot of layers, so I didn't feel the burn too much.

Then I got a really scary phone call. I was home, watching television when my phone rang. Seeing that the caller ID said unknown, I was hesitant to answer it, but I did. At first, all I heard was breathing, like in the movies. It was creepy shit. Then I heard a loud scream, but it was really more like an angry roar.

I nearly shit myself.

Another scary thing happened on Friday when I was driving to work, and I stopped at a red light. I was the first car behind the line, and I was patiently waiting for the light to turn green. Then, without warning, the car behind me accelerated forward, pushing my car into the middle of the intersection. The sounds of cars screeching to a halt filled the air as I put my hands on my head, closing my eyes tightly. I was lucky that I didn't get hit, and that no one else was hurt. But the car that had pushed my car was gone before I could give them a piece of my mind.

So now it was Saturday, and I was bored. Edward and Jacob both had to work at the hospital today, Rosalie and Alice were doing bridal shit, Emmett was training some people at the bar, and Jasper was doing paperwork. So I had no one to hang out with and nothing to do.

I decided that I would go see how things were doing at my restaurant, since I had jack shit to do. Grabbing my purse and keys, I left the apartment, and went to my car. I got in and drove out of the garage and into the streets. I was getting lucky with all the traffic lights because all of them were green. But my luck ran out when the light ahead of me turned red, so I pressed on the break, but my car didn't slow down and it didn't stop. I pressed frantically on the break, but it didn't do anything.

I repeatedly pressed my horn, warning people to get out of my fucking way because my truck wasn't going to stop.

8~*~8

**Edward (POV)**

I was walking down the corridor, looking over some paperwork when Jacob ran at full speed past me. I had heard his name from the intercom asking him to go to a certain sector. Besides, running doctors weren't unusual in hospitals, because sometimes it took just a second to save someone's life. He was running towards the Emergency Wing, and I silently hoped that whoever was hurt would be okay.

Suddenly, my beeper started buzzing, and I heard my name from the intercom asking me to go to the same sector Jacob was called to. I ran fast, weaving my way through people, in a hurry to help.

Once I got there, I saw who was in need of some serious medical help. Even bloody and bruised, her clothes torn and covered in her blood, and wearing an oxygen mask, I could tell that on that gurney was my Bella.

* * *

**I personally like my Rosalie and Jacob, but that is me. What do you think of them?**

**You got a look on Rosalie's thoughts on the whole Tanya thing.**

**You also got a look into Jacob's sadness over Bella's inabilty to love him.**

**My answer: To a place that feels like home. If only I could find this place.**

**This week's: Any advice on how to get over a douche of a boyfriend and the loss of a friend?**


	14. Chapter 14 Slight Bonding and Suspicions

**I give you all major apologies for my long absence. I never thought or planned on being gone this long. Some insight on why I've been gone will be at the bottom.**

**I had this chapter written for awhile but a couple of months ago I read it and realized it sucked. So I deleted it and redid it. I'm much more satisfied with this version. I hope you like it.**

**Thank you to all who still read this and project team beta.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight**

******Previously**:Rosalie is still wary of Tanya and plans to figure out about the mystery of her husband who had disappeared. Jacob is questioning Bella's feelings for him and if she can ever truly love him. Bella went through a series of odd misfortunes. Then, while she is driving, her car does not stop and she realizes that her brakes aren't functioning. Edward is called to the ER to see Bella injured from her car accident.

* * *

**Bella (POV)**

Everything was so white and unfocused when I opened my eyes.

So I closed them.

Then things were black again.

I liked black.

**Edward (POV)**

"Hey, Jacob," I greeted softly when he walked into Bella's hospital room. He nodded in greeting and sat down on the other side of the bed, staring at Bella as she slept. He shifted in the uncomfortable lime green chair, causing it to creak. At any other time I would have laughed seeing a chair made of steel and plastic struggle to hold a man's weight.

But this was not a time to laugh because Bella's brakes had failed.

The report had said that she had driven her car into a brick wall due to brake failure, more specifically the brick wall of a liquor store. Bella came into the hospital bleeding profusely from her head, suffering from leg and chest injuries, and unconscious.

Two ribs were broken, causing some fear of a punctured lung, but luckily that wasn't the case. There was head trauma, which was our major concern. Bella had a large, dark colored bruise on her chest, and she also had two gashes on her right leg. One of the gashes was on the side of her thigh and only needed four stitches, but the other gash on her lower leg needed twelve. It was likely that the smaller wound would heal easily with minimal to no scaring, but the other was a bit trickier. We wouldn't be able to see the extent of possible nerve damage until Bella woke up and we could do some tests, but hopefully she would only need time, possibly physical therapy, and rest.

In a way, Bella was lucky. Her injuries should have been much more severe for the speed her truck was going and the sudden impact into the wall. The reason why she attained such minor injuries was because her truck was built like a canon. For many years, we had made fun of her monstrosity of a vehicle, and we constantly told her to upgrade, but she never faltered because "It's my baby, bitches, so back the hell off and respect my truck."

Once Bella woke and was fully aware of her surroundings, I wondered how she'd take the news that her truck was totaled – never to be driven again.

"It's been hell the past two days, huh?" Jacob asked, breaking the silence. I glanced at him and saw that although we had totally different features, we looked sort of alike at the moment. Both of us had dark circles under our eyes, and the lines around them were more prominent. While both of us had laugh lines around our mouths, we were starting to form deeper frown lines. So in general, we looked like crap.

"Yes, but it's ridiculous since she's going to be fine."

He shrugged slightly, his shoulders not willing to put in much effort. "We can't help what we feel man. When I saw it was Bella . . . I felt so many different emotions at once – not one of 'em good. We see so many patients, so many people in pain, and we do what we can to make them better 'cause it's our job. But when it's someone I know, someone I care for, I do what I'm not supposed to – panic.

"We have to be calm and collected, no matter what the situation, and it's not that hard most of the time. Then something changes," Jake said. "You're not the relaxed guy who handles everything while everyone freaks out. You become the person freaking out. You question everything you do, wondering if you're making the best decision, or if what you're doing is right. It's not a good feeling. Then afterwards, when everything is over, you feel like shit because the feeling of failure just crashes down on you."

"We can't save everyone, Jake," I said solemnly, wishing that we could. In the back of my mind, I realized how odd it was for the both of us to be speaking like this. We had been friends since we first met, although things had gotten strained and awkward when he started dating Bella. Yet even back then we never really ventured into deep discussions.

"I know that." He sighed, his eyebrows furrowed as he traced gentle circles on the back of Bella's hand. I stared, transfixed at the sight of Jacob's russet skin against Bella's pale complexion.

I shook my head. "It's okay to care about people, but by doing so you have to be prepared to take the possible consequences. As doctors, it's suggested to remain emotionally unattached to any and all patients. Usually it isn't so hard. You see people, do what you can, and move on to the next person."

Jacob opened his mouth, but closed it after some thought. I waved my hand, encouraging him to speak what was on his mind. With wary eyes, he asked, "Were you always this way? You know . . . when it comes to patients?"

"Pretty much, yeah, but it's mostly because of my father, Carlisle."

"From what I heard, he was one of the best, right?" Jacob asked.

I nodded sadly. "Yeah, but he made a huge mistake."

Jacob raised an eyebrow, silently encouraging me to continue.

"He never personally told me the whole story or any details really, but I know that one night, when he was working the late shift, there was a family that got into an accident. Some guy just drove his truck right into their car – he was high as a kite. It was your usual family: a dad, a mom, a son, and a daughter. The boy I believe was around eleven, and I think the girl was six. Well, my dad did everything he could and so did the rest of the staff, but the wounds were just too severe. The mom had died on impact, so she was pronounced dead at the scene. The boy died soon after from too much blood loss, a punctured lung, and from too much pressure on his chest caused by the door of the car. He had died before he was fully in the ambulance. I know they got the dad as far as the surgery room, but he ended up dying before they were able to do anything."

Jacob frowned. "And what about the little girl?" he asked hesitantly, the circles he drew on Bella's hand stopping so he could hold it. I averted my eyes from his firm, loving grip.

"They put her in intensive care, and my dad made sure to keep an eye on her. On his breaks and during his lunch he would read, talk, and comfort her. That little girl got under his skin and into his heart."

Jacob looked at me sadly. "Why do I feel like this story doesn't have a happy ending?"

"Because it doesn't," I told him bluntly. "She died three weeks after the accident. My father was a wreck; he barely ate, he didn't talk to any of us, and he spent most of his time at her grave. It took him a long time to heal, and to this day he still visits her grave. So when I made the decision to become a doctor, I vowed that I wouldn't go through what my father did. I know sometimes it's unstoppable; you can't help but have a soft spot for some people. I just never want to be destroyed by grief and end up having to fight for who I am."

Jacob's eyes became pained. "I wanted to become a doctor because of the impact my mom's death had on me. She died of breast cancer when I was ten, so I was old enough to really be impacted by it. I felt that by becoming a doctor, I could save other kids' moms, and that they would never have to go through what I did. My dad had also spent a lot of his life in a wheel chair, and all I could do was wheel him around and give him his medication. When he died . . . I just knew that a doctor was what I wanted to be. I mean, I know everyone is going to die, but by being a doctor I can maybe, hopefully, prolong their life a bit."

I stared at Bella who was still sleeping peacefully and unaware that the two people who were in love with her were sort of bonding. If that was what you could call what was going on.

After a moment of silence, I heard Jacob's chair creak. "You know what? I just remembered something," he said, drawing my attention to him. His eyebrows were furrowed, his lips were in a hard line, and the hold he had on Bella's hand tightened a bit.

"I can't believe I didn't think of this sooner," Jacob whispered.

"What?" I asked, hoping he didn't hear the annoyance that leaked into my tone.

"I checked her truck not too long ago and everything was fine," he said, perplexed.

"What about the brakes?" I knew that Jake was more than competent when it came to cars. He had even told me once that if he hadn't become a doctor he probably would have become a mechanic.

"All good, and so was the brake fluid," he assured me.

"That's strange."

8~*~8

I took off my white doctor's coat and placed it on the silver coat hanger by the door of the staff lounge. My eyes travelled the room, seeing that only a few nurses, assistants, trainees, office staff, and one receptionist were on a break. I smiled in greeting to those who looked at me, as I quickly made my way to the coffee machine. It was only six o'clock, but I felt more fatigued than usual. I blamed Bella being a patient, which forced me to deal with a wrecking ball of emotions. Since hospitals always had people working, there was always coffee brewing. It wasn't always good coffee, but when you needed a quick energy boost, you could not really be picky. Most of the staff was considerate, though, and bought the good, although more expensive, coffee for the rest to enjoy. I usually always bought some when I went to the grocery market or Starbucks to bring back to the hospital and leave it available to the others.

I opened one of the above cabinets to grab a plain white ceramic cup and then filled it with hot coffee. Sitting in one of the lone light-blue tables, I sipped my coffee and listened to the hum of other's conversations. Due to being lost in thought, I was startled by someone pulling a chair at my table.

"I'm sorry, Dr. Cullen. May I sit with you?" asked Dr. Gerandy with his gentle voice, his hand on the edge of the chair. Dr. Gerandy was a nice man and a good friend. He was a wise and experienced doctor in his early fifties who was liked for his bedside manner. Children especially loved him.

I motioned for him to sit, smiling warmly. "Of course, Doctor."

He smiled in thanks and sat down, placing his own cup of coffee on the table. His hand soon wrapped around his coffee cup, bringing it to his lips and taking a rather large drink. When he placed the cup down, I noticed the difference between his and mine. While mine was plain and came from the hospital for the purpose of any staff member to use, his was also white but had 'World's greatest dad' written in bright red lettering. Next to the words was a picture of a yellow trophy. I smiled bitterly as I compared them side by side.

Dr. Gerandy also noticed the difference along with my expression. "My daughter, Janie, gave this to me four years ago, when she was ten, for Christmas. I remember not long after that I was running late for the ER shift and just grabbed a thermos I used for such occasions. I hadn't been aware that Janie was watching me. I didn't get home until the next day at around six in the morning. After some sleep, I went to go spend time with my family. Janie wasn't around, so I played with my two younger ones, Martin and Arlene. I grew concerned that Janie wasn't involving herself in our playtime, so I went looking for her. When I found her in her bedroom, she just bolted out of the room! It was the fastest I had ever seen her go. I thought it was a game, so I ran after her, followed with playful chants that I was going to catch her. When I did, however, she cried for me to let her go. After several attempts at getting her to tell me what was wrong, she said she was angry that I had left the cup home. So I swore that I'd never take another cup or what she deemed an evil thermos."

Several chuckles escaped me during his story as I pictured a little Janie heartbroken that her dad didn't take her cup to work. I had met Janie several times, but not as a child. She was now a very outspoken teenager with her father's straight, light-brown hair and her mother's thin lips and button nose.

"You know," Dr. Gerandy continued, "I never understood why people consider starting a family the end of an adventure. If anything, it is the beginning of a bigger one. Dr. Cullen, you're at the age where you're starting a family or at least thinking about it. Since you're not married and judging from some things I've noticed" – we both glanced at the cups – "you're thinking about a possible family. While that is wonderful, just remember not to rush things. You have a lot ahead of you, and like all adventures, it is important to enjoy the experience and the road it takes to get there."

"Thanks for the advice, but so much has happened in what seems like such a short span of time, and I just don't know how to deal with any of it. I keep thinking about a good way to go about everything, but I just come up blank. Also, Bella being in the hospital hasn't exactly helped things."

Dr. Gerandy's expression was grim as he took another large gulp of coffee. "Ah yes, I saw her name in the patient admissions. What a horrible thing to happen – brake failure. Although it seems like she'll be as good as new after some time if that leg heals nicely. As for whatever else is troubling you, know that I will be glad to help you by giving the best advice I can give or by simply being an ear to your problems," he said seriously.

My mouth opened to reply, but suddenly a young woman who seemed to be a volunteer walked up to our table. Both Dr. Gerandy and I looked at her expectantly, and she smiled awkwardly in response. With her left hand, she tugged at her dark-brown hair that was in a high pony tail, staring at the wall behind us.

"Um, there is a Rosalie McCarty here and she wants to talk to you. She's in room 387W with patient Isabella Swan," the woman said hurriedly, her feet now rocking back and forth.

Smiling, I thanked her and learned that her name was Natalie. After she practically ran away I turned to Dr. Gerandy.

"I remember I was kind of like that when I was working for my hours as a med student," he said with a fond smile. I chuckled as I too remembered those early days as a trainee.

"Yes, me too, though I was known to stutter quite often. It was only after I gained more confidence in my abilities that I was able to speak a full sentence more clearly. Thank you again, Dr. Gerandy, for your offer and for your company. I just might take you up on it."

"You do that," he said as he waved me off. I quickly drank the rest of my coffee and put it in the sink, only slightly caring that someone else would have to wash it.

When I walked inside Bella's room, Rosalie was sitting beside her. She was fiddling with her wedding ring, a habit of hers, as she stared almost absently at Bella.

"Hey, Rose. The others couldn't make it?" I asked. Her eyes smoothly turned to me, like I didn't just interrupt her deep thoughts. Her manicured fingers stopped playing with her ring and moved to settle on her lap.

"Nope, but they are all coming tomorrow for sure. Alice had to go visit a possible wedding location up north with some clients. I was so glad to not have to go because of course I wanted see Bella, but also because that chick was driving me crazy. She's a picky, trust fund baby and is driving Alice and me nuts. She said no to all churches without even looking at them because they're too depressing and some other shit. We've taken her to several other locations but they either don't have good lighting, she doesn't get a good vibe, or 'my wedding here would be a total embarrassment for I am of high class, not a knocked-up hussy.'" Rosalie had quoted the woman with a low voice and a hand placed on her hip, all while holding her head up comically high.

Laughing, I stood closer to Bella's bed, my eyes traveling to the monitor on the other side of her. Everything was stable, although her blood sugar was too low for my liking.

"What about everyone else?" I asked, grabbing Bella's chart and checking when her last glucose administration was.

"Well, Emmett wanted to come here immediately, but I told him to deal with his problems at the bar since we were all coming tomorrow. He has been having issues with kids sneaking in and getting drinks. Emmett thinks that one of the employees is allowing it. He wants to get it under control before one of those kids get hurt."

"How does he know this is even going on?" Lifting the blanket up and laying it gently over Bella's upper body, my eyes scanned the wound on her leg, barely registering the gasp that escaped Rosalie's lips.

"He, um, saw them when he reviewed the security camera footage. Though he can't see how they got in since he only has one camera recording the front of the building. I told him to get more cameras, but he insists he doesn't need them." Her voice started off shaky, but after averting her eyes from Bella's jagged wound, she was able to calm herself. Rosalie was never good with these kinds of things.

"Jasper?" My fingers gently touched the edges of her injury, testing the amount of physical response. I stared at Bella's face for any amount of reaction as I applied various amounts of pressure to several areas around the gash. Bella visibly flinched a few times, which was good, but I noticed little to no reaction when touching the lower part of her injury. This worried me.

"Jasper might come later on today, but I doubt it. He wants to be here with Alice. You know how he hates hospitals. I would hate for him to lose it, so I told him he shouldn't push his control."

I nodded in agreement. Jasper coming here, especially without Alice, was asking for trouble.

"She. . .She's going to be okay, right?"

I smiled softly. "Yeah, she's going to be." A part of me, the doctor part, felt like I was giving her hope too freely.

**Bella (POV)**

I opened my eyes again, the harsh lights stinging, but after a few blinks, I was able to see clearly. I was, by the looks of it, in a hospital room.

_How the hell did I get here?_

I tried to think back to my last memory, but all I came up with were bits and pieces. I closed my eyes and thought harder. I remembered driving my truck, then feeling panicked, then scared, but that was it. I could recall nothing but flashes of me looking at my dashboard, and then a wall.

I was freaking out in my bed when Jacob walked in.

"Bella, you're awake! Oh, shit. Calm down. Take deep breaths. Breathe in through your nose and out through your mouth," he instructed. I did as I was told, and I thankfully calmed down after several breathing exercises.

"Why am I here?" I asked once I felt like my brain wasn't going to jump out of my head. I was so confused.

"You don't remember anything?" he asked as he looked at some chart, and then at the screen that had all these numbers and lines that was by my bed. The only thing I could tell from the machines was that I was alive because the line was going up and down, and there wasn't a continuous beep. Of course the fact that I was fucking breathing showed I was alive, too.

"I only get flashes when I try to remember anything."

His eyebrows furrowed, but he seemed to nod in approval at the machines. "Does that happen when you try to remember _anything_ or only what happened recently?"

I realized then that I wasn't used to "Doctor Jacob." He was so serious, and well, doctor-like. It was actually quite a turn on. "No, I can remember everything clearly except for what happened right before I ended up here, which is why I'm freaking the fuck out," I told him.

"Bella" – he started gently – "you were in an accident. Your truck's brakes failed and you crashed into a wall. You're injuries would have been much more serious if your truck wasn't built like a tank." He then continued to tell me all of my injuries and that nobody else was injured.

"I'm glad no one was hurt. So how bad is my truck?" I asked, closing my eyes tightly, bracing myself for the news.

I heard Jacob sigh. I was pretty sure that wasn't a good sign. "I'm sorry, Bella. Your truck . . . didn't make it."

Now my eyes were closed for a totally different reason – to keep my tears from spilling out. My lips trembled as my heart broke a little. I know it may seem that I was totally overreacting, but I loved that truck. It was my baby. I had it since I was seventeen. My dad gave it to me, and I was so happy to have my first car. I also foolishly thought it would be my last.

His voice was soothing when he spoke. "It's gonna be okay, Bells. Your car would want you to be happy and move on."

I couldn't help but chuckle. "Thanks, Jake. Is Edward working right now?"

He nodded. "Yup, well, he should be. Want me to go look for him?"

"Please."

8~*~8

**Edward (POV)**

I poked my head in Bella's room and saw her laughing at me.

"What?" I said, smiling. I walked closer and stood by her bed. A nurse had given her a hair tie and she had done her hair into a side fishtail braid. Even though she was in a loose hospital gown and the room was filled with harsh fluorescent lighting, she still took my breath away.

"Nothing, but the pain medication they gave me makes everything seem hilarious," she said, trying to control her giggles. Her laughter slowly died down, but a short chuckle would escape at random times. I saw her eyes were open wide, telling me that she was forcing them from drooping.

I chuckled and brushed a stray strand of hair behind her ear. "Yeah, well, it's going to make you sleepy too." To prove my point she yawned, her eyes still wide. "I'll leave and let you sleep. Jesus, Bella. You scared the hell out of me."

"I'm sor . . ." her voice drifted off as her eyes finally closed.

I smiled softly at her when she tried to open her eyes again, but she only managed to make them open halfway. Pressing the button on her bed to make it go completely horizontal, I whispered good night. I had planned to tell her that Rosalie, Alice, Jasper and Emmett would all be coming to visit her tomorrow, but I guessed that a surprise would be better. Then, I needed to discuss with her the concerns about her leg, but she obviously wasn't coherent enough.

I was about to leave when I heard her whisper, "I luff you." I turned around quickly to see that she was now asleep.

Smiling sadly, I whispered, "I love you, too. More than you believe."

* * *

**Some of the reasons/excuses (depends on how you want to look at it): Two little baby girls have been added to my family, major family drama, I got a new job, I had to get a restraining order on someone (that wasn't fun), and I found out that I might be moving to a different state.**

**I am definitely going to finish this story, that I swear. My life has been really chaotic lately and I'm slowly starting to put things in order.**

**Also major thanks to you lovely reviewers who gave me comforting and hilarious words on my cheater ex. They really made me feel better :) Also, just in case some of you think so, he was not the one I put the restraining order on.**

**Question: Which movie never fails to make you cry?**

**p.s. I'm going to try to respond to reviews more. Let's see how that works out**


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